how much more......????

Ok so im probably n ot dying! well not just yet but i feel so awful that i may aswell be. Can diet pills kill you? im taking about 40 three times a day thats like 120 a day, im not even sure they are doing anything much other than making me loose my concerntration.  i just want out of this horrible world no more fighting everyday if its not food its money or lack of anyone wanting to employ me (and thats b4 they find out about my mental issues! what chance do i have?!) my head is planning how to get around not eating tomorrow. yesterday all i ate was a handful of chewy sticky sweets today nothing other than milkyish coffee if i can just get thro thursday and friday with out eating my mum is away over the weekend. i feel awful now but getthro 3 days and the hunger feeling goes and ill start to feel better healthier. i just have to get thro 3 days and all this hurt will go. will i dye? i can hear my family saying how selfish and attention seeking i am if i dye. if ican just not eat again i will be so happy and healthy. my head feelas funny and my body is jelly and stiff all at the same time. please dont lie to me evryone lies to me i had a dream a couple of weeks ago where i was thinner and more beautiful than i have ever been it was amazing i cant wait to get there. im striving to get there it would be amazing