How Many Days?

It is a time now when I should be able 2 relax with my pain meds on board,but no such luck 4 this cowboy.Now I have secured the paperwork necessary 2 get the ball rolling on getting some 1,any 1,2 cover these pain patches!I see the doctor on Thursday,then I send these forms back 2 the social worker,who 4wards them on 2 some committee or other,2 determine my need 4 said medication.It is so easy 4 these people 2 sit in judgement & decide if we need this med or that med,have all these panelists been on all these pain trials when testing these meds?Are these people sharing my agonies?I think not,nor will they EVER be exposed 2 the very malady that they are trying 2 treat!This makes me completely unprotected from the pain,the beauracracy,the panelists deciding my fate,nothing now between me & the Beast,just my limited ability 2 ambulate,this now,2,is not such a great distraction anymore,as my ability 2 cover any ground is becoming severely limited & the pain levels do not decrease any longer with rest.Now it is getting personal,the way it is attacking me with no regard 4 notice!How dare it!What Big Kahones you have,Senor!I am in this position,so I must be able 2 come out of it intact,no?Every waking moment now is utter agony,every movement a nightmare.Not aware how long I will be able 2 cope with such levels of pain.My vision is involved now,2,but not so much as seeing,but focusing with that monkey everpresent on my back.I get up sometimes & drop back in2 the chair 2 try again.My balance is really starting 2 fail me,now.No stability in the bottom end,especially when I attempt 2 turn.I say attempt because that motion is just not done anymore!If some 1 were 2 run in2 me out there somewhere,I don't know what will happen 2 me,just gotta be careful,I guess.TTYLspinelessinalbertaJustKeepSmilin' :) JesusSaves! P2