How I Miss You
I have entered the second year of life without you, and instead of it getting easier, I truly believe it gets harder. I celebrate our anniversary and our birthdays in silence, with only your spiritual presence. I can talk, but I can't hear you respond. I wonder what you are feeling, doing, and thinking. I wonder if you still love me as much as you were. I wonder if you are accepting to the changed woman I have become, which isn't the same woman left behind a year ago. I wonder.
I wish others could crawl inside me and realize what I truly feel. I wish they could understand that the only life companion I want is you. I wish they could realize that my life is fine the way it is, and will stay the way it is until the Lord calls me to our eternal home. I wish.
I know that the depth of my love has no bounds and no limitations. I know the bond we have is strong and unbreakable. I know the two deer that appeared in our backyard was a sign from you, for I asked for one in answer to a troublesome question. I know. I know that what we have been handed isn't fair. All our dreams, plans, out the window just like that. I know.
My life is forever changed, forever altered. The life we had, and the life I loved more than anything has been stripped from me, like peeling the rind from an orange.
I went on a Spirit cruise around Philadelphia a couple weeks ago. Entertained to a terrific DJ. Oh how I wish you were there. We could have danced the afternoon away, possibly to a standing ovation. But both of us realized we can't dance with anyone like we danced with each other. I dream of dancing on the clouds of heaven, swirling, dipping, gazing in your eyes, and being kissed on the forehead like you often did. They were some of the days I most cherish in my mind.
Or I pass the shop where you worked so many years, see your red van, and visualize you in the front seat, busily writing out a customer bill, rearranging the dash, and wrapping up another busy day.
I got excited over the weekend in the supermarket over a package of single serve wrapped angel food cakes, something new by Tastycake, knowing that I couldn't buy them for you and share in the excitement when I brought them home.
It's the little things that get me. The little things that bring the most sadness. Oh to have you wrap your arms around me and tell me about your adventures in heaven, how you miss me, how your heart aches as much as mine. It's the little things.
I love you sweetheart, more than words can express. No one can ever fathom just how much, but I know and you know, and that's all that matters.
I wish others could crawl inside me and realize what I truly feel. I wish they could understand that the only life companion I want is you. I wish they could realize that my life is fine the way it is, and will stay the way it is until the Lord calls me to our eternal home. I wish.
I know that the depth of my love has no bounds and no limitations. I know the bond we have is strong and unbreakable. I know the two deer that appeared in our backyard was a sign from you, for I asked for one in answer to a troublesome question. I know. I know that what we have been handed isn't fair. All our dreams, plans, out the window just like that. I know.
My life is forever changed, forever altered. The life we had, and the life I loved more than anything has been stripped from me, like peeling the rind from an orange.
I went on a Spirit cruise around Philadelphia a couple weeks ago. Entertained to a terrific DJ. Oh how I wish you were there. We could have danced the afternoon away, possibly to a standing ovation. But both of us realized we can't dance with anyone like we danced with each other. I dream of dancing on the clouds of heaven, swirling, dipping, gazing in your eyes, and being kissed on the forehead like you often did. They were some of the days I most cherish in my mind.
Or I pass the shop where you worked so many years, see your red van, and visualize you in the front seat, busily writing out a customer bill, rearranging the dash, and wrapping up another busy day.
I got excited over the weekend in the supermarket over a package of single serve wrapped angel food cakes, something new by Tastycake, knowing that I couldn't buy them for you and share in the excitement when I brought them home.
It's the little things that get me. The little things that bring the most sadness. Oh to have you wrap your arms around me and tell me about your adventures in heaven, how you miss me, how your heart aches as much as mine. It's the little things.
I love you sweetheart, more than words can express. No one can ever fathom just how much, but I know and you know, and that's all that matters.
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