How I lost him...

It started with an email to someone I used to mess with... I initiated first contact. It started with him being inappropriate but I never put him in check or even said that I was in a relationship. I asked to meet. We didn’t. He had no interest... after that I tried seeking attention anywhere I could get some. I found a sugar daddy site in hopes of being spoiled and receiving allowances. Most of the men were bland or felt like scammers. But it still felt good receiving compliments from men and being paid attention to. It’s not that I didn’t feel loved and even spoiled but there were times when I felt a disconnect. I didn’t communicate that though I just lashed out and became more isolated and less intimate with my partner. Why didn’t I just communicate?