How I Hate myself
I hate way I am now it’s been three years four months twelve days scene the accident happened and it’s been nothing short of hell for me. It started with the pain, and that got a little better over time but its still there. Then I started to feel sorry for myself, and then I got depression. Now I am restless all of the time just can’t claim down I thought I could have hyperthyroidism got some blood test done last week they came back normal so its not that I was hopping it was that way they could do something for it, but no luck there.
Well one good thing is coming out of this is that I lost 15 unneeded pounds because I started walking more to burn up the energy that I have all of the time.
The is worst at work for, one that is where I lost my leg, two I hate it there because it reminds me of the accident plus I have a hard time keeping myself busy enough to make the day go by fast, all I do is sit behind a computer and enter in numbers so much fun. But it’s a job that I need right now mostly for the health insurance, plus the pay check, with my wife not working it is getting harder to get the ends to meet by the end of the month.
Now my oldest boy has move in with us with his two kids .Two and Four nothing but pure energy. So when I get home all stress out form being at work, and there are so happy to see me and Grand mom is happy that I am home so she gets a break from them. But all I want to do is sit for a little while to be able to unstressed from the day now I can not do that
I just want this to stop I want to go back to the way I was before March 21st 2007 easy going, fun loving, a good father, would be a grate grandfather, not afraid to get my hands dirty. I can learn to live with only having one good sound leg to stand on, but it’s all of the mental thing that I am having trouble with now
Please make this go away for good
Dennis
Well one good thing is coming out of this is that I lost 15 unneeded pounds because I started walking more to burn up the energy that I have all of the time.
The is worst at work for, one that is where I lost my leg, two I hate it there because it reminds me of the accident plus I have a hard time keeping myself busy enough to make the day go by fast, all I do is sit behind a computer and enter in numbers so much fun. But it’s a job that I need right now mostly for the health insurance, plus the pay check, with my wife not working it is getting harder to get the ends to meet by the end of the month.
Now my oldest boy has move in with us with his two kids .Two and Four nothing but pure energy. So when I get home all stress out form being at work, and there are so happy to see me and Grand mom is happy that I am home so she gets a break from them. But all I want to do is sit for a little while to be able to unstressed from the day now I can not do that
I just want this to stop I want to go back to the way I was before March 21st 2007 easy going, fun loving, a good father, would be a grate grandfather, not afraid to get my hands dirty. I can learn to live with only having one good sound leg to stand on, but it’s all of the mental thing that I am having trouble with now
Please make this go away for good
Dennis
Replies
Dennis, you were such a up person , you helped me. I am sorry you are now having such problems. When you new leg feels good , you also do. Don\'t know how to tell you smile . My wife is now sick and I dont know how to help her SAD. I\'m going to need help I am sure .
You guys have been great . I am here if I can help you now also .
Joe G
Dennis, you were also a big help to me when I didn\'t think I could take anymore. I spent a year and a half in this wheelchair before I got a good working leg. I\'ll never be rid of the wheelchair, but at least I can do some walking. I will pray for some strength for you. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? Maybe you could tell the family that when you\'re in there you\'re not to be disturbed. I hope you get to feeling better soon. -- Andrea
Thank you for your support I just needed to get it off my chess. My glass is always half full in my life I try to stay on the good side of it but there is days that it just gets to me and need a outlet, and maybe I will find a doctor to help me out with the restlessness that would go a long way in helping me heal from that day that change my life.
Dennis
Dennis, you\'ve got a lot to deal with, but you CAN do it! I wish I had the magic formula to make your life better, but I don\'t. Just do the best you know how, and trust God to help you with the rest. Remember that you\'ve got friends in this group who are pulling for you. Take care, friend.
Gordon