How I feel today

Tears fall all the time right now. I don't understand entirely way. I feel angry or sad most of my day. I feel stuck, stuck inside a body and a mind that is broken and tired. I feel alone, no one understands, no one wants to lisent to me complain. Although I am expected to listen to them complain.

Will I ever be healthy again? Will I spend the rest of my life in pain and exsuasted? The few things that make me feel better and forget about my illness take to much physical strength. Even if I have a few good days to go riding, mentally that wound be the best thing for me, but physically can I do it? If I can what will the next day be like? I will be forced to stay in bed and sleep my day away. Someone my age shouldn't have so much joint and muscle pain. I shouldn't have to be conservideve on how I use my energy. I am scared. I don't know what life is going to throw at me or if I can handle it.

I know I need to work on some things. I have to accepting my illness and my limitations. Learn to say NO and choose the best way for me to use my energy. Take peoples help. I have got to drop my pride and know when I need to ask for other peoples help.

Thanks for listening. It helped to talk through some of my feelings. Now I can understand a little better about why I feel angry and sad. Also, I have set a few goals to help move me past this bad spot I'm at.

-Kenzie