How Far I've Come...
“Nothing is good, nothing is right, but I love you.” -Paper Route
~*~
Today has been an odd kind of day. Yesterday my dad came over to get some of his tools out of the trunk of my car. When he did he realized some of them had moisture on them but the trunk wasn’t wet. I grew suspicious and tried to start the car but it was dead.
The car, both doors and the trunk, open with a push button and this car is notorious for unlocking at even the slightest hit. My dad has been in it several times where the keys were in his pocket in the house and he popped the trunk outside. The trunk has a light in it so without him knowing he would go outside to start it only to find the trunk killed the battery.
Well, the doors weren’t unlocked and to our knowledge the trunk wasn’t open but my dad said that the battery was over due to be replaced. He told me he would be over today to charge it and see what is going on.
After a horrible night of hardly any sleep- all of 3 hours- I woke up at 8:30 in a fairly bad mood. I waited for my dad until about 9:30 and decided to head back to bed as I work until late tonight. Well, he showed as soon as my head hit the pillow! Murphy’s Law!
Turns out after tinkering with it the car needs a new battery and is totally dead. No problem except the battery is in the wheel well and my dad doesn’t want to mess with it. So, he called a tow truck to tow it from my driveway to a family friend (who is a mechanic) garage. Still waiting on the tow truck. *sighs*
The car is my dads but as long as I am driving it he says its mine. He needed a place to park his car when he got his truck back and asked if I would take it. I told him as the agreement if I take it and he wants me to drive it I will pay maintenance (oil changes, car washes etc), insurance and gas. We went back and forth on that! He just wanted me to pay for gas and that’s it. However, since I’ve had it I have taken care of it (though when the insurance comes due we tend to scobble when I try to give him the money) so since the battery crapped under my car I insisted I take care of it. He disagreed and put his foot down. So, luckily he is footing the bill for all this cus honestly that would have pushed my budget off the charts.
Normally I would be stressed out about all this. Instead I took a small nap and plan on going about my normal day sans the car. I still have some laundry to get caught up on and dishes to wash but aside from that the only main thing I have to do today is work from 6:30pm-3:30am. Sadly I’ve not got in a workout today but I had a pretty intense workout yesterday that left me pretty sore so I think I am going to sit today out. I may opt for some stretching and light yoga but anything rigorous may have to wait.
While sitting here thinking…yanno I am pretty proud of myself and I have come a long way. Just a year and a half ago I could barely leave the house, drive a car, even walk to the mailbox at the end of my old driveway. Something like this- something that disturbs the normalcy would have put me into panic. However, right now I can do anything I want and if I do get those old pangs of anxiousness I know how to deal with it. I cannot believe how much of my life I lost to panic and fear. However, I take that as something to look back on. I don’t ever wish to be that way again.
I look back and I see a dark time but I also see how I fought so hard to be where I am at. The saying is true, “If you are going through hell…just keep going.” I didn’t quite understand that then but I do now. As long as you try- one foot in front of the other- you will see the light on the other side eventually.
Hope all of you are well!
<3 Rea
~*~
Today has been an odd kind of day. Yesterday my dad came over to get some of his tools out of the trunk of my car. When he did he realized some of them had moisture on them but the trunk wasn’t wet. I grew suspicious and tried to start the car but it was dead.
The car, both doors and the trunk, open with a push button and this car is notorious for unlocking at even the slightest hit. My dad has been in it several times where the keys were in his pocket in the house and he popped the trunk outside. The trunk has a light in it so without him knowing he would go outside to start it only to find the trunk killed the battery.
Well, the doors weren’t unlocked and to our knowledge the trunk wasn’t open but my dad said that the battery was over due to be replaced. He told me he would be over today to charge it and see what is going on.
After a horrible night of hardly any sleep- all of 3 hours- I woke up at 8:30 in a fairly bad mood. I waited for my dad until about 9:30 and decided to head back to bed as I work until late tonight. Well, he showed as soon as my head hit the pillow! Murphy’s Law!
Turns out after tinkering with it the car needs a new battery and is totally dead. No problem except the battery is in the wheel well and my dad doesn’t want to mess with it. So, he called a tow truck to tow it from my driveway to a family friend (who is a mechanic) garage. Still waiting on the tow truck. *sighs*
The car is my dads but as long as I am driving it he says its mine. He needed a place to park his car when he got his truck back and asked if I would take it. I told him as the agreement if I take it and he wants me to drive it I will pay maintenance (oil changes, car washes etc), insurance and gas. We went back and forth on that! He just wanted me to pay for gas and that’s it. However, since I’ve had it I have taken care of it (though when the insurance comes due we tend to scobble when I try to give him the money) so since the battery crapped under my car I insisted I take care of it. He disagreed and put his foot down. So, luckily he is footing the bill for all this cus honestly that would have pushed my budget off the charts.
Normally I would be stressed out about all this. Instead I took a small nap and plan on going about my normal day sans the car. I still have some laundry to get caught up on and dishes to wash but aside from that the only main thing I have to do today is work from 6:30pm-3:30am. Sadly I’ve not got in a workout today but I had a pretty intense workout yesterday that left me pretty sore so I think I am going to sit today out. I may opt for some stretching and light yoga but anything rigorous may have to wait.
While sitting here thinking…yanno I am pretty proud of myself and I have come a long way. Just a year and a half ago I could barely leave the house, drive a car, even walk to the mailbox at the end of my old driveway. Something like this- something that disturbs the normalcy would have put me into panic. However, right now I can do anything I want and if I do get those old pangs of anxiousness I know how to deal with it. I cannot believe how much of my life I lost to panic and fear. However, I take that as something to look back on. I don’t ever wish to be that way again.
I look back and I see a dark time but I also see how I fought so hard to be where I am at. The saying is true, “If you are going through hell…just keep going.” I didn’t quite understand that then but I do now. As long as you try- one foot in front of the other- you will see the light on the other side eventually.
Hope all of you are well!
<3 Rea
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