How do you Love me Now?

Well slowly but surely I am crawling out of the gutter I've been trapped in.
It is not an easy task, I haven't been able to see a future for myself in a very long time. Quiet frankly my divorce rather shattered my most important dream. In my anger I never tried to explain nor defend myself.
Caught up in the struggle to just survive One Day at A time. The years have slipped by rather fast. Finding someone to share my life with is not very incouraging. Several times I'm told I just don't have enough income. Although I've managed to provide basic needs, and ample amounts of just stuff.  TV's, Computers, Cars, DVD's, Nintendo's X-Boxes, Playstation, 1 and 2.  Several thousand of dollars worth of games and equipment.
There's a tool shed filled with Power tools, air compressor, and lawnmower. All the things a Handy man needs to be happy with tinkering around.
So it's not for a lack of effort, to find a future for myself. Reckon it is that with the Chronic pain, and PTSD, I defeat easily. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to get up and start swinging again.
I enjoy all of Creation.  Life is a very precious wonderful echo in such a Vast Universe. With my Faith, and Hopes intact, I look forward to the next step in Life that starts a Journey  into the Truth.  Seek the truth and it will set you Free.
I don't know for sure what is in store for me at the end of this life. I plan to enjoy and endure every moment, and I trust in Our Creator to guide my soul through to mold and use as he so see's fit.
My ramblings is that of a mere Man. I truely enjoy being a Man. Male, without shame, or remorse. I believe I conduct my self in righteousness, charity, as a free Moral angent. My belief  has always been that Male and Female should treat each other as equals.
I've struggled with so many different teaching of men.  Too which end I learned to follow the teachings of the Heart. To allow the judgement to be renderd by those who  shall be the judges of all men, and women. They are not of this World. The Father and the Son.
As more and more Men play God, I wonder if the price they pay will be worth, the material gains.
Today I claim a little bit of my life. There some where in the distance is a Future. I truely pray it is the one I'm bettin my soul on.  A better World for all mankind.   Amen