HOW DID I LET IT GO ON SO LONG

HOW DID 8 YRS OF CHEATING JUST KEEP GETTING PUSHED UNDER THE RUG BY PROMISES OF THINGS GETTING BETTER HE SAYS THAT ITS JUST ONLINE FLIRTING AND TEXTING BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE I KNOW ITS BEEN MORE HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS GO ON SO LONG I MAKE EXCUSES THAT ITS TO NOT HURT ME KIDS BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE I THINK I'M JUST SCARED TO LET GO BUT THE REALITY IS I'VE BEEN WITHOUT LOVE FOR A LONG TIME JUST GOT USE TO HIM BEING AROUND