How Could It Be

Of course this week is the week of Ken's memorial, so I am sure that thing will come into your mind and make you feel so sad.
Last night it hit me that I could not believe that over a year now since I last saw or spoke to my son Kenny.  How one deals with it I have no ideal.
By the time for bed the tears had built up and were beinning to stream down my face.
How could it be over a year since I talked or touched or told my son I loved him.
How could it be that my son was taken away from me...
How could it be that it has been a year?  I don't really know... life goes on, things
keep on going forward...yet it feels like it is still yesterday when my son was still
alive and we are eating Pizza.  Love you son, mom 
 
 
 

Replies

connilla
connilla

It really stinks....It\'s been 25 months for me without my Melissa. I am constantly getting messages from her though which helps immensely but it just isn\'t as good as being able to talk to her. I am missing her more and more each day. It sound like you are missing Kenny the same way. It is only natural for us to do that. We loved and nurtured them all their lives and we now have a big void in our lives and a hole in our heart that will never heal. We all must hug each other through words and know that we are not alone. I hope you feel this warm hug I am sending you. Love, Connie
NellW
NellW

It is so hard and so unfair. We want to make it not so. For so long I drove myself crazy asking \"why\". Not I know I will never have any answers and most people don\'t want to talk about it. I am so sorry that you are hurting so bad.
Try to take care of yourself.
Nell in Georgia
rcoco
rcoco

One day continues to become another, life goes on around us....gradually we begin to get a glimpse of ourselves, the women we were before the most terrible loss. It will never be the same, yet we have the power to make it through this somehow, by the grace of God we make the best of the worst of times. Love and light, Rebecca
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have no answers:( Only virtual hugs to send you. I feel the same most of the time:( Heart to heart, Danette, Sweet Nathan\'s mom
KandL
KandL

I know Sandi. It hurts so much; so much so that sometimes I am surprised that any of us survive. Such precious, fleeting moments. Sharing a pizza with our boys. What we wouldn\'t all give for one more moment of something like that...Holding your hand..its such a loss. Gentle hugs and so much love to you and precious Ken, Linda
JennsMom66
JennsMom66

Almost 2 1/2 years since Jenn died and I still can\'t believe it..
Hugs to you this day and always,
MaryLou
lynette22
lynette22

Sweetie, I\'m so sorry for your pain, I know how much you miss your KEN. It is unbelievable we survive, four years for me and counting and I still have days I beg for the answers. Sending you prayers and lots of love, take it a moment at a time and don\'t forget to breathe. Hugs, Lynette
deleted_user
deleted_user

The years come and go,but the pain remains. We never get over it, as someone on FMO said, or around it, or under it, only through it. The love we feel and the hope for re-union someday, is what helps us through it. Peace. Gaye
heartsandhands
heartsandhands

Dear Sandi, Not fair, no way, not ok, not right, just terrible that this happened to a good man named Ken. And to everyone who loved him so much... and you most of all, you who created and adored him.
Love and peace, sarah
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

Continued healing and so much care sent your way. I don\'t know how this could BE for any of us? It\'s too much for our brains to wrap around most days and our hearts ache for those times past yet this moment is calling us too. Thinking of you. Love, Joanie
Abotsd
Abotsd

So sorry that the suffering continues. At least let\'s let go of our guilt and admit that we\'d have done anything, absolutely anything, to save our children. Missing my son, Jake, now for the last ten months is also unreal, unexpected and undeniable. Life goes on, we survive, and thank G-d, we have one another. thanking all of you for coming to my aid, abby
SusanLarson
SusanLarson

I understand. It just never goes away. Peace to you Sandi
deleted_user
deleted_user

I passed the one year mark last April. I still don\'t fully \'believe\' it. In my head, yes, in my heart, not really. As Sarah said, it\'s not fair, okay..none of it. We are forever changed. I try to remind myself of song lyrics, \"there\'s more room in a broken heart\" and try to think that perhaps I am a better person for this? God only knows.
PLA58
PLA58

I just passed the 2yr mark, I cannot believe that one..... His son will be 2 next month, little Mikie is one of the reasons I take one more step forward....
It takes much strength to get through the next day, some days I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. One of my break throughs was when I stopped crying myself to sleep every night. Its down to 2-3 times a month.
Remember small steps....
Hugs Penny
BinkyH
BinkyH

Sandi, my thoughts are with you during this most difficult time. You will go through many changes during this upcoming second year and find yourself to be someone else, over and over again. I began my third year on 11-22-08 and I have found a gentler way of living with my loss. One day at a time, dear friend. Remember when it was one minute at a time? Hugs. Belinda