How Childish !!!!!

How Childish is it argue about Whether, OR NOT You Should Re-Do the Ice Cube Trays whenever You go into the Freezer to get ICE !!!!!?!?! It's such a SMALL THING, but my Current Boyfriend made it seem like I was asking Him to  Paint the Entire Apartment, or Something !!!!! I realize this whole ' Issue ' is pretty Tiny, but the Thing is this is just ONE among MANY Other Issues I've been having with My Current Boyfriend lately ! Over the Last MONTH, or maybe even TWO MONTHS, it's been practically EVER SINGLE TIME He goes to the Freezer to get ICE whether it's for HIS Tea, OR for MY Soda, it's ALWAYS THE SAME THING !!!!.... He starts to COMPLAIN to Me that The ICE IS LOW... that there's Not Much ICE ready in the Freezer ! EVERY TIME HE DOES THAT I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD HIM THE SAME THING.... " IF IT'S LOW, THEN YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD RE-DO THE ICE CUBE TRAYS ! ". But, He always comes back with some LAME EXCUSE by saying that it's NOT HIM that uses Most of the Ice... that it's ME that uses Most of it ! I've told Him OVER AND OVER that that's NOT the Point ! It's a Matter of Consideration for the OTHER PERSON ! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS MATTER OF COMMON SENSE TO HIM !!!!!! So as You can probably imagine, the Frustration level over this had been building Up for a LONG WHILE ! Until Finally One Day, it started happening YET AGAIN, but this Time I took Notice, and saw that He DID NOT re-do the Ice Cube Trays AS HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING !!!! I went OFF on Him ! I'll admit it... I HIT THE ROOF over this ! I couldn't help it ! I had had MORE than Enough of it ! One of the Things I pointed out to Him was the " OBVIOUS FACT " that since HE was the ONE that was Taking Some ICE out of there, that HE should be the ONE to RE-DO the Ice Cube Trays at That Moment !!!!! When He had the NERVE to actually TRY to dispute this FACT with Me, it made Me even MORE ANGRY ! He actually Tried to tell Me that that STILL didn't matter, because it was STILL ME that uses More Ice than Him, in general ! I came Right Back at Him when He said that with the Obvious Point that... " Well, RIGHT NOW YOU are the ONE that's Taking Some ICE out of There, so YOU should be the ONE to RE-DO the Ice Cube Trays ! " I could tell that He wasn't going to give up His Use-Less Arguement, so I KEPT ON pointing out the Obvious FACTS of the Matter so He would get it through His Thick Head that I was RIGHT !One of My Last Points I made was to state that it's all a Matter of ' Considersation for the Other Person ', anyways.... BESIDES mattering Who Used the Ice Last, or NOT ! I told Him FLAT OUT that ANYONE that uses the Ice... PERIOD.... SHOULD ALWAYS RE-DO THE ICE CUBE TRAYS WHENEVER IT LOOKS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT LOW !!!!! AS well as DEFINITELY RE-DOING Them when The Ice is LOW ! When I made that Statement He shrugged in the annoying Way He does when We've been arguing, and silently Re-filled the Ice Cube Trays. I hate it when He ' shrugs ' the Way He does, and goes Silent, when We've been bickering, or arguing, over something. His ' Shrug ' to Me always seems as HIS WAY of saying something like... " Well, maybe IF I'm Quiet She'll calm down, and stop being so irrational. Plus, hopefully next Time She won't act so Nuts, and She'll just see Things MY WAY - the RIGHT WAY ! "I know that's a LOT to get from just a ' Shrug ', but Please Trust Me when I say IF You saw it, and heard His ' Sigh ' that goes along with it, then You'd see EXACTLY what I'm talking about.I know in the ' Grand Scheme of Things ' ICE is really not a Big Deal. BUT when You ADD this Situation with Many Other ' Little Situations ' like that, then Together They make for a LOT of Pent-Up Frustration.... ANGER, and CONFUSION over What IF Anything I CAN... OR SHOULD... OR NEED TO... DO ABOUT IT ! My Current Boyfriend... just to point out to Everyone... is NOT Physically Abusive to Me... Not at all. So in That Way, He's not at all like My Last Boyfriend. BUT, My Current Boyfriend's Attitude sometimes reminds Me a LOT of My Ex-Husband, and He was a Definite Emotional Abuser. I came right out, and told My Current Bf that I saw that similarity in Him, one day. Of course, He didn't like it a Bit ! Plus, also of course, He claimed He didn't see it at all ! I didn't expect Him to admit it, though. When have You EVER heard of a Man admitting a Fault of His ? Pretty much NEVER, I'd say. LOL Anyways... so I guess I'm simply trying to say that AT LEAST My Current Boyfriend does NOT physically Hurt Me, but Emotionally I'm not so sure about. He has a ' Way ' of supposedly Joking around a lot of the Time where He'll swear that He's JUST JOKING, but I'll tell Him it sure did sound like it to Me ! Each Time that happens it Hurts Me, and I don't think He understands, or even sees that at all ! ... especially because no matter how many times I've told Him that I DON'T appreciate His ' Just Joking ' manner, He'll still do it again and again in the Future. It might not be in Exactly the Same Way as before, but it's still the same sarcastic tone of voice, and same stinging words.One Day when We were having a Very RARE Serious Conversation He confessed to Me that His Childhood was NOT at all what a Childhood should be like. I can't go into the Details in here, but I'll just give You the Main Point. The Point that He was making from telling Me about it was to tell Me that During His ENTIRE CHILDHOOD He had to learn QUICKLY how to PUT SOMEONE ELSE DOWN BEFORE THEY DID IT TO HIM ! Pretty much, I got the idea He was saying that He had to learn FAST how to Defend Himself, How to be Tough No Matter What, and How to Attack the Other Person Before They had a Chance to do it to Him. That's pretty much the Basic Idea I got from My Conversation with Him.I felt sorry for Him having to Grow Up like that. Noone should have to live through a Childhood that harsh. BUT.... the Thing is, I'm His Girlfriend, and NOT His Therapist ! I don't want to sound COLD, but it's the Simple Truth of the Matter. I didn't know about ALL of this BEFORE I let Him Move In with Me. IF I'd known the Way He Truly was BEFORE hand, I doubt that I would have allowed Him to Move In ! NOW... I feel Stuck with a EXTREMELY CO-DEPENDENT Man that Has a WORLD of ' ISSUES ' that even a TEAM OF THERAPISTS I think would need Years to solve ! He's Put ' ROOTS ' down in My Apartment, and I feel like I'm some sort of Cruel Witch for even remotely considering yanking Him out of a Warm Environment that He thought would be somewhere He'd stay for a VERY LONG Time ! He MUST suspect that I haven't been Happy lately, because during the last Month, or so, He told Me on about 3 or 4 different occassions that IF Him and I didn't work out that He would have NO PLACE TO GO, and would HAVE TO SLEEP IN HIS TRUCK ! WHY WOULD HE POINT THIS OUT TO ME, UNLESS IT WAS TO GUILT ME INTO NOT KICKING HIM OUT ????!!! PLUS, EVER SINCE He moved in.... Every Day.. .and Night... Every Move He Makes... He says, " I Love You ", at Every Turn ! I love the Words, and it does mean a Lot to Me to hear them.... BUT there comes a Point when the Words start to sort of lose Their Meaning, I think, when they're said almost a MILLION TIMES A DAY !!!! AGAIN... WHY ELSE WOULD HE SAY, ' I LOVE YOU ', SO OFTEN, UNLESS HE SUSPECTS THAT I'M NOT HAPPY, AND MIGHT BE THINKING OF KICKING HIM OUT ?????!!!! 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m praying to God to find a peacefilled resolution to this for you dear friend. God be with you until He helps you sort this out in your best interest. Prayers and Blessings with Love from LaVivre
empathy
empathy

I think a lot of these questions may be coming from how you are perceiving things and that it was good to have a serious conversation to get his point of view too. My hubby and I often bicker about stupid things and the arguments used to escalate into using old \"buttons\" piss each other off, this doesn\'t happen too often anymore. We just try to be as open and honest ans possible on the spot instead of letting frustrations pile up and explode!