How Can People Be So Cruel???
Hey all,
Wow things have been very very tough. To cut a long story short, by some very cruel act, my brother in law and sister in law took it upon themselves without my knowledge to go to the funeral home and collect my husband's ashes. Without saying a word they have gone and scattered them without my knowing. I am now in a situation of after seeking advice, been told I need to press criminal charges against them for the things they have done. It started on the day of his death. First they stole his cellphone from our home. Sadly, his body was still here, in our bedroom and they could have done that?? Then various other things like them accusing me of actually murdering him and that it wasnt suicide etc... The list just goes on and on.... There is history of schizophrenia in the family and I know they dont see things the way I do or others do for that fact but boy oh boy, to have your husbands ashes taken away from you is something else. I just wanted that little bit of closure then we could all as a "family" go and scatter his ashes. I have gone off the deep end in the meantime and am no longer under a psychologist but am now under a psychiatrist as I am deemed to be a threat to myself now because of this depression.
I have been put onto Paroxetine twice a day and then Bromzepam at night. Guess, all in all, I will never get the answers I so badly seek but this has just really hit me for a tenner. Now, whether I like it or not, I have no choice of closure or anything. How can people be so incredibly cruel? Its totally and utterly disgusting to say the very least...
Anyway love and hugs to you all. I know we are all fighting our own battles, demons and emotions.
Thinking of you all
xx
Wow things have been very very tough. To cut a long story short, by some very cruel act, my brother in law and sister in law took it upon themselves without my knowledge to go to the funeral home and collect my husband's ashes. Without saying a word they have gone and scattered them without my knowing. I am now in a situation of after seeking advice, been told I need to press criminal charges against them for the things they have done. It started on the day of his death. First they stole his cellphone from our home. Sadly, his body was still here, in our bedroom and they could have done that?? Then various other things like them accusing me of actually murdering him and that it wasnt suicide etc... The list just goes on and on.... There is history of schizophrenia in the family and I know they dont see things the way I do or others do for that fact but boy oh boy, to have your husbands ashes taken away from you is something else. I just wanted that little bit of closure then we could all as a "family" go and scatter his ashes. I have gone off the deep end in the meantime and am no longer under a psychologist but am now under a psychiatrist as I am deemed to be a threat to myself now because of this depression.
I have been put onto Paroxetine twice a day and then Bromzepam at night. Guess, all in all, I will never get the answers I so badly seek but this has just really hit me for a tenner. Now, whether I like it or not, I have no choice of closure or anything. How can people be so incredibly cruel? Its totally and utterly disgusting to say the very least...
Anyway love and hugs to you all. I know we are all fighting our own battles, demons and emotions.
Thinking of you all
xx
Replies
I am so, so sorry. You must be devestated. Hugs. Sandy
Wow, so sorry you have had to deal with all that.
Hugs, Sandi
I am so sorry that happened to you. You should file charges against them, and you should report the funeral home to whatever licensing agency regulates them where you are - they should never have released his ashes to anyone but you. It was just wrong on every level. Regardless of where his ashes are, his spirit is free now, and it is my belief that he will be near you. Some things his family can\'t control. Don\'t give up. Love and Hugs, Martha
That is horrible!!! I agree with Martha, file charges and report the funeral home. I am so sorry you have to go through any of this. Sending hugs. Sue
Definitely file a complaint with the state association that oversees funeral homes now. They should not have released your husband\'s ashes without your consent. Oh God that is the worst when it comes from family. Sounds very similar to the bizarre stuff my brother and his wife think to do. It\'s a dilemma. You know they are wrong, but do you feel like going after them. This is the kind of stuff that may give them what they deserve, but you also will be entangled in the negative publicity. Stealing the cellphone I would forgive, because people naturally become weird when there is a sudden death like that, but accusing you of murder and then stealing away your husband\'s ashes, that goes over the line. I am so sorry you have to experience this along with all the rest of grief. It never should have happened and it will be awfully hard to forgive if you want to forgive at all, which I understand too.
Sorry I was so wound up I didn\'t realize where you were living. I guess I\'m one of those dopey Americans who thinks everyone lives here.
Thank you all for your support. I have decided for now that I will be making a report but will see if they decide to play ball in as much as his death certificate and other personal belongings. If they dont play ball, I will then press charges for sure. It is totally and utterly disgusting that they have behaved they way they have. My only consolation is that Steve is free from their control. I shudder to think of how that made him feel as he was a big one for showing respect etc at times like this. Sadly though, in Africa, anything can happen as there is very little rule of law. However I will be laying a complaint/charge against the funeral home. It\'s just not on what they did. Thank you again for all your support.... xxxx