how can he be so mean?
after he told me not to contact him i have stopped,even though its hard im determined to not speak to him anymore but today both the children tried to ring him and he ignored thier calls.Why wont he speak to them?then our daughter text him and he replied im ok hope your ok,speak to you in a few days.how hurtful is that?Then our daughter spoke to his sister who he is apparently staying with and she said hes still a mess and i could tell he hasnt told her all that went on last week,I feel like everyone is blaming me for his mental state but i only tried to be there for him and he threw it back in my face and said he dosent love me so what else can i do?Ive got to let him get on and move on myself.no contact no contact no contact.
Replies
Nix - no contact is healthy. Have you thought about counseling? Figuring out his state of mind, motivations, etc is just crazy=making, I know, I\'ve been there/
Lynne
thanks lynne,im waiting for an appiontment for counceling.i know ive got to stop thinking about what hes doing.im getting there.
I am sorry hear what you are going through. YOur situation is so typical of this siutation. Yes, the no contact rule is very hard, but sometimes people intheir sates of mind cannot communicate with us, and you and he may realize that when there is communicaiton there is a lot of hurt. you must remember that they are not thinking logially when they are depressed. and when there isno logic, you spend too much energy. I know it is hard, but take this time to read, work on yourself, talk to your children about how yourhusband\'s ailments needs him to be by himself now so he can try to get better. i am so sorry your children are gong through this.
It will all get better, very slowly but surely.
afandor
thankyou for your help,yes i think he is depressed but i now realise i cant help him anymore its not my job now.im just going to consontrate on our childrens emotional wellbeing.xx
Good to hear you are working on getting through this. I\'m sorry the kids have to go through this though. It is very hurtful to them. However, you are there for them. All your love, strength, and support will perservere.
I\'m sorry he is ignoring the children, but that is his problem, not yours.
Counseling will help you to sort out your feelings and emotions. I\'m glad you\'re going.
Hugs to you and your kids. It will get better.
BTW, he is probably ignoring the calls because he probably thinks they are from you. My ex also ignored my calls; he would see the number come up and just let it go to voice mail. Nothing you can do but encourage the kids to use texting.