HOW AM I GOING TO GET PASS THIS....

I DESPISE YOU....I LOATHE YOU!!! It is 5:38 am and I should be in bed asleep. I'm sure your laying on that itchy hard metal cot for a bed, but resting nonetheless, while I am up with tears running down my face. Wondering WHY!!! WHY!!!!! WHY!!!!! What the hell did I do so BAD that you felt the need to cheat with 3 neighbors, go online and post yourself as SINGLE and befriend over 40 women on FB, get kicked out and still feel NO remorse, run into me with girl in car and laugh in my face, only to turn around and get some chick pregnant as if MY SON doesn't exist. WHY!!!! WHY!!!!! WHY!!!! I befriended the dumb twit on FB and she tells me EVERYTHING I WANT TO KNOW. Like you have chosen the name Fabion for your new son, and that you guys are BOTH ecstatic about his arrival, that she visits you every week, and that she talks on the phone with you daily. While I am just left here to wallow in misery, struggle to pay bills, drag my baby in and out of the cold to flea markets just to keep a roof over our heads. I cannot explain the HATE I have for you! And being the christian that I am HATE shouldn't even be a feeling that I have or a word I should use. But GOD knows me inside out so there is NO NEED to lie about how I fell..cause he knows. Yes it's easy for people to say move on, and trust me I am trying my hardest to do so...yet the hatred for you and what you did and stand for remain. I also must admit that I am sitting back waiting..to see the day that your GF finds out who you really are. My so-called friend posed the question today, "What if you marry her"? My answer was for what? I mean I don't see it. What makes HER so special? She isn't doing anything spectacular that I didn't do...But then again. I feel you got her pregnant to HURT ME...you couldn't possibly love her after WHAT...2 months. I think our an ignorant stupid F!!! You want to hurt me but your hurting YOURSELF more..your just too stupid and F'd up to realize it. I'm raving mad cause your not even thinking about MY SON...THE ONE YOU BEGGED FOR...yet as your father once told me...you think he's a toy that you can sit on a shelf and deal with when you want. I hope GOD's wrath on you is RELENTLESS!!! How can you go about life, acting all in love with this new girl, anticipating the birth of your new son while my son is left by the wayside!!!!? ALL that is done for him is of the effort of your MOTHER!!!! How can you sleep at night knowing how you betrayed me and made it worse by getting someone else pregnant only a few short months after I left. YOUR A DEMON..there is NO OTHER EXPLANATION. I believe because I fornicated with you and had a child out of wedlock....the demise of our relationship was punishment. I had no business living m life in that manner and therefore we were doomed from the beginning. Yet the hate was built off your ACTIONS. God please forgive me...but you have been sentenced to a year. I heard that a year is different from 12 months. I hope they ship you off to prison where they despise a person of your character (all about SELF and think your a big shot). I hope your mouth and attitude gets you shanked.......GOD FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THAT...BUT I DESPISE HIM!!!!