How a Simple Act of Kindness Has Helped Me Re Focus...

So those that know me pretty well know that I am very nuturing. Everyone who meets me at first will call me T. My co-workers and friends, parents, and students. But with in a few weeks it turns to MaMa T. Almost like clock work. The girls and guys I work with all come to me for advice about one thing or another. Right now and for the past few months I haven't felt that I am in any position to give any kind of advice on relationships. But they still call, send me emails and stop by my class to say" Hey  T when you get a minute can you come by my class I need to talk to you" When ever we are having pot lucks or get togethers they bring me the sign up sheet first always with a big ol smile saying " Ok Mama T whatcha cooking for us this time?" Now I don't know why 20 somethings or even thirty somethings have a need to call me MaMA T but ok.
Then my neighbor who i'm not really close too but we have sat out on our porch's a couple times and shared a glass of wine and had a smoke and some good conversation. I wouldn't really call her a close friend but a nice neighbor. Her H was caught cheating a couple months ago so she is going through a Divorce also. She has 3 small kids and hasn't worked in a few years so I hooked her up with a job at my old preschool and some counsling through my church. It took me 2 phone calls and about 20 minutes of my time no big deal to try to help someone out. That's what I thought anyway. Don't most people go out of their way to help someone if they are in a position to help? Just like my friends at work I always make sure they get home safely if they have been drinking if we go out. I always make sure they take a break and eat something during the day. Teachers they think a hand full of peanut m & m's and a bottle of water is lunch.
These are things that our simply in my nature to do. So I never give it a second thought. Then yesterday when I got home there was a card sticking out of my door. It was from my neighbor and this little act of kindness gave me a new outlook on myself. See for all these months I still have had it in the back of my head that there must be something wrong with me. Why wasn't I good enough? What could I have done different or what could I have changed about myself so I could make him happy? Anyone else feel that way? Even with my bestess fairy godmother Cowgirl Kathi telling me T is was not you he is the idiot!!! I love Kathi, I still believed that there is something wrong with me. Never seeing all the things in me that other people see in me. LOW SELF ESTEEM FOR SURE. Any way this card really meant so much to me I read it about 10 times at least. Here is what it said...
"T, there are very few people in this world that think of others before themselves. I Thank God he lead me to one of those people. Don't ever change one thing about yourself. You are such a special person and he does not deserve you. T, please don't spend one more day crying over him when there is a good man out there crying and waiting for you. You are the reason I believe that there are ANGELS here on earth. Love you T.... I was speechless and just cried and cried over this card. I believed that what I did for my neighbor was no big deal I made a few phone calls and helped her get a job and some counsling. But to her I helped change her life I gave her hope and now she can support her kids on her own...... I'm starting to look at myself different now I AM PRETTY COOL. I am no longer going to ask myself : Why didn't I matter to him? Because the people I DO MATTER TO ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER THE MOST TO ME!!!!!!!!!