HOW!!!

Where do i start............

My life was going ok; i lost weight and was starting to feel confident in myself again, i got a promotion at work and me and my partner have set a date for our wedding but yet that illness, that horrible thing we all no so well that lerks in the background .... depression has yet again shown its ugly head and i am left questioning why do i feel this way; what can i do to stop it; why does it keep coming back ??? 

The worst thing for me is when i have a breakdown as we all do; my partner always says that he is failing me; that he obviously doesnt make me happy and doesnt seem to understand when i say its not my life that i am unhappy with; it is myself!

I want my old self back again. The loud, outgoing, chopsy 22 year old that i normally am not this shell of a person i once was that is slowly shattering into small insecure piece!!