Hour by hour day by day

I have lived my life hour by hour day by day for many years.  Having Fibro and RA makes it hard some days just to survive or even want to survive.  I feel lonely and resent my body for taking so much away from me.  But I have learned that such thoughts just make it harder to survive.

I am learning that perfect is different than it was a few years ago.  I used to have OCD so bad that my home was spotless.  Now if I am not in panic that someone will see it then I accept that it is alright.  I have had to slow down alot in the past few years and there are many things that I could do just a year ago that I wouldn't even try now.  I was so active when I was younger and had friends that I would do things with.  But now my kendle is my friend.  I love to read but even that is hard for me at times as fibro fog can make it hard to comprehend what I have read.  I also find that the near exhaustion that I live in on a daily basis makes reading hard because I start to read and quickly fall asleep. 

I think that the trick to dealing with chronic illness is to take it one day, one hour, one moment at a time.  I try to find little joys in everything I do and everywhere I go.  It can be as simple as a birds song, a smile from a stranger, or watching the leaves change color in the Fall.  I fight depression but have found that when I am grateful for the simple moments it is easier to smile.