Horror Scope
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
"You may feel uncertain about your direction in life today, even if you think that all is well at first. You might be hurt by a situation that raises painful memories, so it's crucial to realize what's happening now is not the same as what happened in the past. Recognize your weak spots and take your time to uncover the origins of your emotions so that true healing can finally begin."
Today is the huz's birthday. I have firmly resisted the urge to go back and read the emails she was sending him two years ago. Two years ago, I didn't know. I took him away on a getaway - except he insisted the kids go, too, which seemed weird, but I went with it, glad he was willing to spend time with us at all, since he had been so "busy". How little I knew. Phone records show he was texting her the whole time we were gone... even late into the night.
Now is not then.
Today he called me twice and texted me several times while he was at work. I haven't bothered looking at phone records, but I'll lay money the only other people who've popped across his phone were his sister and mom. (MAYBE his dad?) And work related stuff. Always with the work stuff. Ugh.
I'm so damned depressed. I keep telling myself that things are different. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm ok and we're ok and life is ok, but I can't shake this melancholy. I want to figure out WHY I feel so crappy so I can move forward, but I can't even put my finger on what could be bothering me. NOW IS NOT THEN. What happened is done and over. So why? What's going on?
We're going away - just the two of us - for a belated birthday celebration on Friday. I was looking forward to it when I suggested it and I put a lot of effort and time into planning it, but now ... meh. Maybe it was a bad idea. I can't decide if trying to reclaim dates is working or not, but on days like today - definitely not.
"You may feel uncertain about your direction in life today, even if you think that all is well at first. You might be hurt by a situation that raises painful memories, so it's crucial to realize what's happening now is not the same as what happened in the past. Recognize your weak spots and take your time to uncover the origins of your emotions so that true healing can finally begin."
Today is the huz's birthday. I have firmly resisted the urge to go back and read the emails she was sending him two years ago. Two years ago, I didn't know. I took him away on a getaway - except he insisted the kids go, too, which seemed weird, but I went with it, glad he was willing to spend time with us at all, since he had been so "busy". How little I knew. Phone records show he was texting her the whole time we were gone... even late into the night.
Now is not then.
Today he called me twice and texted me several times while he was at work. I haven't bothered looking at phone records, but I'll lay money the only other people who've popped across his phone were his sister and mom. (MAYBE his dad?) And work related stuff. Always with the work stuff. Ugh.
I'm so damned depressed. I keep telling myself that things are different. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm ok and we're ok and life is ok, but I can't shake this melancholy. I want to figure out WHY I feel so crappy so I can move forward, but I can't even put my finger on what could be bothering me. NOW IS NOT THEN. What happened is done and over. So why? What's going on?
We're going away - just the two of us - for a belated birthday celebration on Friday. I was looking forward to it when I suggested it and I put a lot of effort and time into planning it, but now ... meh. Maybe it was a bad idea. I can't decide if trying to reclaim dates is working or not, but on days like today - definitely not.
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