Horrifying Moment
I was hanging out with two of my guy friends tonight, and as a joke, one of them snatched the hat off my head.
It was terrible. I was completely panicked but was trying to play it cool. I grabbed him from the back and wrestled the hat out of his hands. Then, I plopped it back on my head, knowing that I looked completely ridiculous because I didn't have a mirror and usually I have to adjust it many times in order to get it to sit on my head right.
Luckily, it was dark. I don't think the guy who snatched the hat off really had much time to see my hair as it was because his back was turned. The other guy is practically blind, so I'm hoping he didn't see much, either. It was also fairly dark out. So for all I know, they could have just not seen anything.
Afterwards, neither of them mentioned what happened and casually moved on to another topic--so they may not have noticed anything.
But it was a truly horrifying moment for me. It was awful. I pretended like nothing was wrong, but I was definitely having an internal freak-out session and I couldn't recover from it.
One of my friends knows that I have trich. I didn't tell him; someone else did. The other one has no idea. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if they had seen it--they probably wouldn't even care, since it's not like they're romantically interested in me in any way. But I couldn't get over the horror of what had happened. I had actually run this scenario in my head before; I had idly thought, "What if one day, my friend just takes off my hat?" But then I had just dismissed it.
I'm normally a fairly private person with my thoughts, feelings and things from my past, but trich is something that has always been in my zone of Deepest Darkest Secret that should never ever be mentioned.
Ever since I got my hair cut, I've been going around everywhere in hats. Not only is the side of my head a little thin, but the haircut is really short and it probably makes me look really unattractive. So I had just been wearing hats since surely it wasn't so weird, as it's winter? But now I'm thinking that I just need to stop. I need to force myself to get used to my haircut. I need to put mascara on the thinner parts, if necessary, and just get out of my home without putting a hat on. Then, I won't have to face horrible moments like what happened today.
But...but I just can't get up the courage to just walk outside with the hair cut I have now. Which is ridiculous, considering how I used to look before when my trich was at its worst.
Aaarrgghhh. I'm just going to hope that the boys never noticed anything--or that even if they did, they'll forget all about it in a few weeks, and certainly a few months when my hair is longer (and it WILL be longer because I WILL be beating trich.)
It was terrible. I was completely panicked but was trying to play it cool. I grabbed him from the back and wrestled the hat out of his hands. Then, I plopped it back on my head, knowing that I looked completely ridiculous because I didn't have a mirror and usually I have to adjust it many times in order to get it to sit on my head right.
Luckily, it was dark. I don't think the guy who snatched the hat off really had much time to see my hair as it was because his back was turned. The other guy is practically blind, so I'm hoping he didn't see much, either. It was also fairly dark out. So for all I know, they could have just not seen anything.
Afterwards, neither of them mentioned what happened and casually moved on to another topic--so they may not have noticed anything.
But it was a truly horrifying moment for me. It was awful. I pretended like nothing was wrong, but I was definitely having an internal freak-out session and I couldn't recover from it.
One of my friends knows that I have trich. I didn't tell him; someone else did. The other one has no idea. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if they had seen it--they probably wouldn't even care, since it's not like they're romantically interested in me in any way. But I couldn't get over the horror of what had happened. I had actually run this scenario in my head before; I had idly thought, "What if one day, my friend just takes off my hat?" But then I had just dismissed it.
I'm normally a fairly private person with my thoughts, feelings and things from my past, but trich is something that has always been in my zone of Deepest Darkest Secret that should never ever be mentioned.
Ever since I got my hair cut, I've been going around everywhere in hats. Not only is the side of my head a little thin, but the haircut is really short and it probably makes me look really unattractive. So I had just been wearing hats since surely it wasn't so weird, as it's winter? But now I'm thinking that I just need to stop. I need to force myself to get used to my haircut. I need to put mascara on the thinner parts, if necessary, and just get out of my home without putting a hat on. Then, I won't have to face horrible moments like what happened today.
But...but I just can't get up the courage to just walk outside with the hair cut I have now. Which is ridiculous, considering how I used to look before when my trich was at its worst.
Aaarrgghhh. I'm just going to hope that the boys never noticed anything--or that even if they did, they'll forget all about it in a few weeks, and certainly a few months when my hair is longer (and it WILL be longer because I WILL be beating trich.)
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