Horrible to Okay

Today I can change my status from horrible to okay, yet I don't know when I might go back to horrible again. I have my horrible moments of sheer anxiety, anger, frustration then I go back to good or okay. Right now it's an okay moment. I took a long weekend off from work and will return tommorrow. I am glad I did it. I can't wait for this school year to end. I can't focus on work, but I get through it because my little first graders are always so happy to see me. I sometimes feel stuck, but I am truly embracing what has happen to me. I cry, scream, and yell because I don't know where and how to pick up the pieces. Thankfully, I focus on praying, accepting, and healing. I am back to teaching my ZUMBA classes and that has help becuase I love doing it and practicing! My classes have grown and that excites me!! I am planning a road trip to Washington and I am looking forward to it! I am truly surrounded by people that care the world for me and I am feeling thankful. I allow myself to have moments of despair, but I don't want to let it consume a full day. This is how I cope. Things to be thankful for
*Doc said I have incompent cervix (really?? now my cervix won't act right??)
*However, he said that you CAN STILL carry a baby! ovaries, uterus, etc are good! that's something to be thankful for
*I have had someone offer to help pay for IVF!! If it works out,  Although I don't know if I want to do it yet..
*My principal has giving me an opportunity to make at least 4,000 this summer working a summer program!
*My husband proved to be the best on the planet through all of this!!
**I am healthy, I've gained 15 pounds, but I can still wear my skinny jeans!!
*My bleeding from my birth has STOPPED YEAH!!
*Most of my days, God has given me peace
THanks for checking on me friends, please continue to encourage and pray for me!