Horrible ending to a horrible day.
I just can't believe that I can't even have this day, this horrible day, end with arguing with my drunk husband?!?! Today marked six months since my son passed. And it started snowing this afternoon and I found a little joy in that. Like it was a sign from my son. And then, BAM!! My husband, who is an alcoholic, a bad alcoholic, just started an argument over some trivial crap!! I'm begging him, not today. PLEASE, not today! I have to find the strength to walk away from this. I have to for my sanity. He's not the least supportive of my pain and suffering of the loss of my son. I know he can't comprehend since he has no children of his own. But after almost 16 years together, you would think he'd have some compassion of some kind. I am truly at my wits end. I have to have peace in my life!
Replies
Yes you need peace in your life. Sounds like you need to make some hard decisions. Sending you prayers for wisdom and strength.
Tightest of hugs,
Terry
It\'s so hard to make life changing decisions while grieving, I\'m sorry this day ended so badly for you. Sending you strength and hugs! Lynette-Matthews mom
Everyone needs peace, especially in their own home. I hope you find a way to feel that, you deserve it for sure. You are so fragile right now being so early in your loss. I\'m very sorry things are so unfair for you right now. I hope knowing we care....we understand.....and we are here beside you, in some way helps you get through these most difficult times. Hugs of compassion.....Vicki
You do deserve peace...and I wish with all my heart that you will have it. I think that you know having lived with your husband that when he drinks you cannot have a real conversation with him. He is not really there...only the alcoholic man.There is no reasoning with them...it is a waste of time. You do need to take care of yourself in all of this...and what that means to you...is up to you. Love and gentle hugs...Karen
I\'m so grateful for the support you ladies show me! There is no doubt this is such a painful process we go through with the loss of our child. And of all times, this is when we should have the support of our family. I know deep in my heart my husband will never change. He has drank from the day we met almost 16 years ago, with the last 13 being a hard core alcoholic. I always thought he would be the one to die before long. Horrible thought, I know. But I see signs of the affects it\'s had on his body. I can\'t leave now. I know I have to get things in order. And it hurts to even think this way. But I know I have to. I simply cannot live this life any longer. If he chooses to drink himself to death, it\'s his choice. But I cannot take this verbal abuse anymore when I have to deal with losing my son. It\'s like he\'s jealous that he\'s not getting the attention?! I plan to go to another Al-Anon meeting tomorrow. I must get myself strong so I can make these hard decisions. And it makes me angry that I have to at this time when the holidays are here and I need the strength and support of my husband. But I know I\'ve never truly had it and I never will. Thank you all for being my sounding board!
Hugs and love to you all.
Penny
Only you know what you need and how that might look and feel for you. You do have some choices to make and I hope you have some hearts with ears close by who can companion you. Al-Anon is a great place to start...
Sending heartfelt hugs and even when it feels the darkest there is always hope. Please don\'t give up on that.
Hoping your husband will choose to live in sobriety and I\'m sure he cannot imagine alcohol not in his life. There IS life after alcohol and he must choose it.
I am SO sorry as you need a healing sanctuary not a mosh pit of craziness. Deepest of sighs and understanding with all my heart .
Xo Joanie