Horrible, crappy, SUCKS!!
That pretty much explains me lately!! Believe me I have been trying to stay positive. Work has been so emotional. Last time I was here, I had just lost my child at 23 weeks, and had a failed IVF cycle. To top it off, there are 5 women pregnant at my school. I literally see at least one everytime I leave my classroom. AND EVERYONE treats me like I might break if they talk about anything pregnancy related around me. When people see me walking up they stop talking and it hurts so much. I GET people think they are shielding me from hurting and yes it does, but it hurts more when people treat you so different because of what you've been through. I find myself crying in my classroom because I feel so awkward. It's taken an emotional toll on me. I feel like I am all by myself and don't know what to do. I have loss all hope and truly hanging on by a small thread...
Replies
I\'m so sorry sweetie. You are going through such a rough time right now and I know how it feels to just want to cry because no one understands and because they don\'t they treat you differently. I was really praying that the IVF would be a success for you! I pray now that you find the strength within yourself to not give up and just because it didn\'t work that cycle doesn\'t mean it won\'t work the next. If you need to take some time to recollect yourself then you should do that honey. I\'m coming to an end of my failed clomid cycle and I know that I will be taking a break from ttc but that doesn\'t mean I\'m giving up and it doesn\'t mean that I don\'t hurt for my children. You are a strong woman and you don\'t have to hang on by yourself. I know I havnt been on DS much but I will be here to help and support you. HUGS!!!
I wish i had words to say to make you feel even a little better. I wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain. All I can offer you is hope. Hope that one day it wont hurt so bad. It will always hurt, but you will live again instead of just exsist as yo are now. After loosing my son at 17 weeks it took along time, lots of pills, and a good shrink. And i still did things I would advise against and let my hurt ovwe power me. But it gets better. Sometimes days go by and I dont think about it and feel so sad. I still hurt, my heart will always hurt. But its been 10 years and it has taken me years to get to this point. YOur pain is so fresh and so real. Im always here for you. I have walked in your shoes. Your not alone.
I\'m so sorry sweetie!! Big hugs to you!! Life is very unfair at times. I wish I could make it all better for you
It just breaks my heart that you have to go through this. I don\'t understand sometimes. But what I do know is that Heavenly Father loves you very much and is aware of what you are going through even though it doesn\'t seem like it right now. ((((( lots of hugs)))))
I know exactly what you are going through. Life seems to throw us these crappy cards without a manual of how to handle it. I agree with Xanadu that our Heavenly father loves you very much. He is with you in these troubling times. There will be better days ahead. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs!
This is probably the one place you can come to and know that there are people who really do know how you feel right now! A couple of days after I found out that both of my tubes were blocked without a medical explanation I went back to work and wouldn\'t you know it I got in the elevator with a prego! And she started to tell me how her back hurt and her feet were swollen etc etc etc. I blinked back my tears to let her know how fortunate she was to be pregnant at all. My prayers are with you, I\'ve been thinking about you and wishing you well. \"When the Lord closes a door somewhere he opens a window.\"
Wish so much that I had a crystal ball that could tell you how and when your infertility journey was going to end. It is just so incredibly hard when you are in the thick of it, and you can\'t believe it will ever get better. Sending you a hug for strength!
With my 10 yr history of TTC, I echo EELC\'s comments-- it would be so much easier to get through the horrible moments if you just knew how and when your dreams will come true. My minister at church said something very powerful in context to a different situation, but I have taken it to heart across the board- \"Never put a period where God has put a comma\" . Believe. Have Faith. Do what you need to do to deal with the rest. Sorry you are around so many preggos and that you feel isolated at work. You know that your coworkers\' behaviors only stem from love and concern for you--often times people don\'t know how to deal with other people\'s grief and pain, so people think the easiest and most fool-proof way is to avoid mentioning it altogether.
Praying for you for strength, peace, courage and healing...AND a baby of course!