Hoping this Pain will Pass Very Soon

 I just wanted to ADD that I'm HOPING, and PRAYING, that this Renewed Heart Break PAIN will pass soon ! I realize that I can't be " UP-Beat " all the Time, but lately I'm tired of feeling so run down, and overall sad - lonely - and depressed. I got so USED TO having Someone Here with Me, that despite the FACT that My EXBF was ABUSIVE... STILL it's been hard to Adjust to being ALONE AGAIN ! I do My Best to keep in Contact with My Friends Online, and it does Help Me quite a LOT ! But it's still not quite the Same as having Someone WITH YOU to Talk to... to Spend Time With.. to Smile With.. to Laugh With.   I'm NOT fooling Myself though, don't worry about that. I know very well that I only VERY RARELY had Those Things with My EXBF ! Any Conversations I had with Him were ALWAYS solely about HIM ! The Smiles, and/or Laughs that We Shared were VERY FEW and FAR BETWEEN ! A Day could EASILY start out ALL SMILES, AND LAUGHS with Him, but then the LEAST LITTLE THING would set off His RAGE, then the ENTIRE REST OF THE DAY, AND NIGHT, WERE MISERABLE... and frankly FULL OF FEAR - ( BECAUSE I'D BE AFRAID OF HIM TURNING HIS RAGE ON ME, AND HURTING ME ! ) I DEFINITELY DON'T MISS ANY OF THAT !!!!   I guess I simply Miss having a " BODY " here... Anyone actually Physically HERE with Me, to Talk to FACE - TO - FACE ! It'd be a Wonderul Thing to have Someone in My Life .. HERE WITH ME.. that I could Talk to Openly, knowing that They were Truly Listening to Me, and especially TRULY CARING about what I was saying !