Hopeful and feeling good

It is amazing how each day brings something new.  Last Monday I was crazy tired (that is what I call the exhaustion from this disease).  And I had done nothing extreme that day or the weekend before.  It is so strange.  Then the rest of the week I felt pretty good.  Wednesday, despite being tired after work, i chose to get together with a good friend.  I have not been making time for friends because I am tired.  It was just what I needed.  Then I gave a student a ride home two days in a row because his Mom couldn't get him (due to family health problems).  It felt good to help someone.  And Friday night I baby sat a 4th grader.  I had so much fun.  I am 43 and we played like we were 10.  I did it as a gift and wouldn't take money.  So it felt good to do something for someone else.  Also last wee, a good friend sent me the video from NBC about the woman with MS who had the Walk Aide.  My aunt had told me about this a year ago and offered to pay for it.  I felt guilty taking the money.  And I was afraid to get my hopes up that it could work.  After seeing  the video, I was very hopeful.  The lady has more trouble than I do.  And I spoke to my Aunt.  If insurance doesn't cover it, she will pay for everything. The hope of being able to walk again without falling or the fear of falling is thrilling.  I think if i don't have to struggle with walking it will help me have more energy.  Mentally and Physically.  I am excited at the prospects.    As for my goals.  I haven't been great in the gratitude department.  I have said my prayers at night and tried to mention what I am grateful for.  It often reflects the kind of day I have had.  I argued with my husband and was not very loving last week.  He is so frustrating some days.  He has a hard time emotionally.  Especially when I have a hard day.  He gets into the focus of how it affects him instead of comforting me.  I  then respond in a big way, with anger.  And that makes everything worse.  My goals is to react differently in these situations.  Because I know he loves me and I don't think he means to be selfish.  My anger is a problem.  And because I felt good most of the week and am hopeful about this Walk Aide, I feel happy.