Hope for all
As i sit here listening to the fireworks blow in the distance I am hoping and wishing 2020 to be a better year for all. I want so much to go out tonight and toast the New Year with someone I care about but I am here at the house with Roomie not knowing how to tell him Id like to go solo. He never suggest anything so I believe Id be very angry if i told him i wanted to go out then asked if he could go. Why am I so afraid to make changes? Is it because when I left my ex I lost everything? I hate that i allow fear to control me.
Replies
Don't punish yourself because it's not a sin to be fearful..... Fear is caused by past beliefs we have that are not true. It just takes repeating the truth to yourself over and over until the fear goes away.
Yay you for realizing that you have a choice in whether fear controls your life. There is great healing mojo in keeping the responsibility strictly personal. The Blame Game is merely a distraction.
Nerd Alert
Personally, I believe the fear of making changes is hard-wired even deeper than our survival instincts. I trace it all the way to a basic law of physics that an object at rest wants to stay at rest while an object in motion wants to stay in motion. From there, I can accept my fear as both valid and natural while I remind myself that courage is not the absence of fear. It is action in the face of fear. That still doesn't give me control of my fear or the dominions I am afraid of, but it allows me to keep taking itsy bitsy baby steps in spite of my fear.
For What It's Worth
Proof unavailable, but I seriously doubt I could have lasted 39 years with my hubby without blessings to go solo whenever I damned well feel like it. To my beaten crazy bitch wolf senses, living life with someone attached to my hip looks like a mean way to live, no matter how *perfect* the attachment is. Even my therapy dog needs a break every now and again.