Honey do you know?
Honey do you know?
How much I love you?
My world stopped spinning when you left?
How miserable I am without you?
How hard this grieving shit is for me?
How much in denial I was that you would leave so soon?
How everything I see or do or think of is a trigger and reminds me of you?
How hard it is for me to find joy without guilt?
I have written in a journal about my thoughts and feelings, but find it so hard to do?
These little grand daughters in fact all of us will never have anymore memories with you and the
new baby on the way will never know you?
My beliefs have been shaken to the core?
Each day without you seems to be harder than the last?
No amount of tears, sobbing, drugs or booze can lessen this pain, it is always there?
I am trying to do what I think is best, but so unsure of anything?
I look for signs from you but I am not sure they are there?
I would have gone with you, or traded places in a heartbeat?
The fear of losing you was always under the surface through your illness, but now I fear the future
without you?
When I close my eyes I can still see every inch of your body, I can still hear your voice, I can still
feel your touch?
I am afraid to move anything of yours because it is too hard?
I can't get anything done or finished because you are not here to share it with and nothing seems to matter?
I look and feel and act like a lunatic without you here to ground me.
Your strong loving wife is no longer the same person. I have been reduced to this exhausted sobbing shell of a human being just longing for you?
I have been left behind to carry on for our kids and grands but I don't know how to live without you?
I have only ever loved you, you were what made life worth living, you were my purpose?
Will we truly be reunited, I so want to believe?
I am looking for strenth through our love to carry on and find my purpose and honor all that we were?
And finally do you know that I will always treasure our 40 years together, it wasn't enough, but I
am so truly thankful to you for giving yourself to me. I will Love you always and forever!! Michele
How much I love you?
My world stopped spinning when you left?
How miserable I am without you?
How hard this grieving shit is for me?
How much in denial I was that you would leave so soon?
How everything I see or do or think of is a trigger and reminds me of you?
How hard it is for me to find joy without guilt?
I have written in a journal about my thoughts and feelings, but find it so hard to do?
These little grand daughters in fact all of us will never have anymore memories with you and the
new baby on the way will never know you?
My beliefs have been shaken to the core?
Each day without you seems to be harder than the last?
No amount of tears, sobbing, drugs or booze can lessen this pain, it is always there?
I am trying to do what I think is best, but so unsure of anything?
I look for signs from you but I am not sure they are there?
I would have gone with you, or traded places in a heartbeat?
The fear of losing you was always under the surface through your illness, but now I fear the future
without you?
When I close my eyes I can still see every inch of your body, I can still hear your voice, I can still
feel your touch?
I am afraid to move anything of yours because it is too hard?
I can't get anything done or finished because you are not here to share it with and nothing seems to matter?
I look and feel and act like a lunatic without you here to ground me.
Your strong loving wife is no longer the same person. I have been reduced to this exhausted sobbing shell of a human being just longing for you?
I have been left behind to carry on for our kids and grands but I don't know how to live without you?
I have only ever loved you, you were what made life worth living, you were my purpose?
Will we truly be reunited, I so want to believe?
I am looking for strenth through our love to carry on and find my purpose and honor all that we were?
And finally do you know that I will always treasure our 40 years together, it wasn't enough, but I
am so truly thankful to you for giving yourself to me. I will Love you always and forever!! Michele
Replies
Michelle...now im crying...he knows all of this. Hes proud of you for your love,;strength and for pushing forward. Im glad you could share your feeling with us. Much love and big hugs carla
Oh Michelle my heart cries for you. He sees, he knows, and I believe that he is there with you. Keep sharing, and kept writing him letters. I shared my life with my one true love, and somehow, some way we will get through this grief, and come out stronger for it, but we will never forget. I know I was blessed to count myself among the lucky that got to experience what it was like to marry my soul mate, and like you it truly makes it so very hard. Hugs to you. Katrina
Michelle-- what a beautiful poem! It makes cry, smile sometimes. Truly lovely. Hugs and love, Tiger