Honesty

I promised my friends that I would be honest with them. When I am they tell me that I just need to let it go and not drag it out. I was a little upset because I was just trying to explain to them why I did what I did. They seemed annoyed with me for just trying to clarify things. Maybe I will just lie low next week and just focus on them instead of on me and my addiction. Maybe my friends who told me that I could talk to them about anything, need a break from me. Maybe I overstayed my welcome. Maybe I am just overly tired and sensitive because it has been a very long week. They have been the very best friends that anyone could ever ask for. They have gone above and beyond. We probably all just need a break from each other..
Also, I have a fine system that I established to hold myself accountable. It really seems to be working. I get fines if I read casino mailers, go to a casino ad, read email from a casino, go in a casino, etc... My friends enforce the fines. I try really hard to not get any fines. I hate having to pay fines. My fines go to a charity if I have to pay any.
 
I tried many times to cancel the emails, but I keep receiving them from the casinos.  I know that they have their deceitful tactics to try to get people to come back. Well, I wrote enough for today. I guess I am just starting to get a little nervous with school ending and all of the free time that I will have.