Home from FET

Everything went well with the transfer this morning. Well, almost everything... When the embryologist gave us the report on the embryos she had a big smile on her face and seemed excited to deliver the news. I, on the other hand, bursts into tears! I was not prepared to hear that one of our two remaining embryos did not survive the thaw. It felt like half my hope just went out the window. Everyone just looked at me, like why is she so upset?  I was upset because of the one that we lost. I was upset because selfishly I wanted twins. I was upset because I was not informed (either by the clinic or my own research) that if you got one out of two, that's pretty good odds. My thought process was that if the two previously transferred did not make it, how can only one make it? Logic tells me that the more you put in, the better a chance for a successful outcome. I just felt overwhelmed and disappointed.  After that, the loopy drugs kicked in. I told DH they should have given me those before telling me about the lost embryo. I was not completely out of it for the transfer. But, overall, I did not feel any discomfort. I was glad they let DH 'scrub in' and join me in the OR.  Now, after having a nap, I just feel like lying around for the rest of the day. I have a mild headache, but nothing I can't tolerate.   As I calculated, my beta will be on Dec. 22. I wish it was sooner because we are celebrating Christmas with my family on Dec. 20 and if we have positive news, it would have been special to tell them, albeit early, because they have all been supportive of our struggles. I don't know when my parents, 4 siblings and their spouses and children will have the chance to be together again. Oh well... So, for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to fight with everything in me to let this little one snuggle in for the long haul.   Thanks for all your hugs and encouragement.