Holly Happy :)
Okay Im not going to be Debbie Downer anymore, or at least for awhile. I had my tantrum and Im ready to try to get back to my positive self again. I guess my major problem is that I dont know what I want to do. I know I must do something but I just can't make up my mind. 1. I want to be a stay at home mom. Issue: Well if I could just have a baby like the rest of the world then I could do this financially. I fear that if we have to spend olotto $ then its just not going to be possible. I respect working mothers, in fact all of my sisters work full-time and are the best mommies I know, however I just cant see myself working full time when Im a mother. Especially because I commute an hour to work. I know that being a parent is full of sacrifice. I feel that a working mother and a stay at home mother both make a sacrafice. A working mother doesnt get to spend all her time with her child and I know thats hard, however they get to give more to there child for example help with college or a car and show that child an example of what hard work is.... that to me is a gift to the child and a sacrifice that the working mother makes... Okay then my veiw on the sacrafice of a stay at home mommy is that they dont get to have a "career" (although I believe mothering is a job in itself) Staying at home means giving up the dreams of a big career at least for awhile. Learning to live on less $, having less things and not being able to help your child , as much financially. That is a sacrifice to me, however it is also a gift to the child, who can care better for a child than the mother? So my problem is I dont know which sacrafice or gift is more important. I know I know youre thinking well she doesnt have kids so why is she worrying about it. Mostly because I worry all the time and over think everything haha but really because it makes a difference in the choices I make now. I could go back to school get my ba and be able to afford more things, more treatments, and be able to support my child more financially or I could chose to wait it out try to get preggo myself and stay at home and offer my child one on one time and I think that there is a lot of value in that. Besides I can go back to school anytime, ( I know it isnt easy the longer you wait ) but uhhh so much to think about. I think if I keep trying naturally I ll go insane :) If I do IVF and it doesnt work Ill be broke and insane, or I could adopt and be broke and maybe a little insane because of never being pregnant. Okay so thats my thoughts for today. I love you all and thanks for your support during my low!
Replies
Another option is to do all of the above. You could stay at home while the baby is young and then when he/she starts school you could go back to work part time. That way you could have the best of both worlds. That is what I have always wanted to do.
Best wishes.
I have always thought that its good to plan and thinking about doing IVF and spending money can be a hard decision to make, I know but I also think you deserve to be as emotionally ready and as physcially prepared as you can be for your children and going through potentinally alot of mcs puts a huge toll on yourself. maybe you should talk to some more doctors and get more info. on your options. You will make the right decision trust in that. you can stay at home and eventually work too. its will happen
I did kind of the opposite as normal people. I went back to work after my maternity leave. It wasn\'t that bad because I had a really great day care facility. He learned so much early and was well socialized. Then, I quit work the summer before he started Kindergarten, we traveled all summer, and then I\'m around for all involvement in his school activities and am a very active parent. I think he appreciates me being around more now than he did as a small child. I also spent those 5 years working and saving to add to the nest egg. While I was doing that, my husband was growing his business so I could quit later. I\'ll be at home this time so I guess I\'ll have two seperate situations with two different children. You\'ll work it all out. A lot of times it just takes care of itself with different opportunities, but I know it can drive you crazy trying to make the right choices.
There is always so much to think about. And I think what is right is different for each person. I plan to go back to work 4 months after this baby is born. I do think it would be wonderful to stay home with my baby, but I also know that as a teacher I tend to go a little nuts during the summers with all that extra time. So I think it will be good for me to keep working and keep part of myself. My mom didn\'t do that and now she is so wrapped up in us and it made things difficult down the road.
But, like I said, it is different for each person. You will figure it out.
I am so glad you are weighing all you options and thinking things over. There is always the option to go back to school anytime. I know you will make the right choices. Just take your time and think things through, and whatever you decide will be great:) I am always here if you need to talk.
I\'ve thought of the same things. I want to spend all of my time with my baby but I also want to give them everything they desire. I have really leaned towards being a stay at home if it works out financially. My mother was a stay at home mom for all 5 of us. No we didn\'t have alot growing up but I loved that my mommy took me to school picked me up for lunch, picked me up from school and that i always knew she was there when i needed here. This may not work out for some people but my advice is things that you buy with money come and go. You can\'t get back the years you may miss on with your kids by working all the time. Just my personal view.