Holidays coming up

Hi all I'm back after being goine for awhile. Holidays are around the coroner and I can't just try not to think about things. I feel alone and I need to be able to deal with the holidays without crying and feeling down. Day to day I am usually okay unless I allow myself to think too much about my mom and my grandmother passing. I guess thats good. I can think of them now and smile instead of immediately crying. I'm in Dallas and I do not have much of any family here. I just changed jobs so I can't take off and go see anyone for the holidays. Just my boys and the family I made here is all I have. I get frustrated and hurt that noone is here that will ever care for me the say my mom or my grandmother did. Noone cares to call or to check on me. Noone calls to say Happy Birthday, Happy Thanksgiving, etc. This makes me want to not go to see anyone for Holidays anyway. I'm just alone and it hurts to think about it. I guess the way I cope is not thinking about how noone cares about me how the two ladies i heaven now once did. Its been years now and I still feel so abandoned.