Holding it together and trying to remain calm and positive

So, my last entry was rather ... frustrated and pissed. Today, I'm trying to remain positive and calm. Calm doesn't come naturally to me. I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago, and my panic attacks have morphed from the usual chest pain, shaking, and hyperventilating to the added feeling that my throat is closing and I sometimes get hives, similar to an anaphylactic shock attack.  Throw the idea of this being our last attempt at IUI in there after 2 failed procedures, and my tongue goes numb just thinking about it.
So, calm. Zen. Reeeelaaaaxxxxeeeddd.... Nope, but I'm working on it. This is implantation week, assuming my old lady eggs haven't beaten his lazy sperm off with canes. ;-) And I'm trying hard to grab on and remember that peaceful feeling I had after getting off the exam table. I didn't even feel the catheter this time, his count was the highest it's ever been, and there was so little cramping that I felt really good afterward. If I was allowed to, I'd do yoga, but the nurse warned against it this month until we know if we're preggo or not. Maybe I'll try meditating...
And positive. I've been checking out Pinterest quotes, and one really spoke to me. "You have not failed until you quit trying."  So, so far, we have not really failed. We're stronger and more capable of handling this stress than we realize, I think. In fact, I think that anyone who has to deal with infertility and comes through with their head up is emotionally stronger than anyone who has had pregnancy come easily for them, regardless of whether the infertile people are able to conceive or not.  
So, I end with this: "Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think of what could go right". Happy thought :-)
Peace, Love, and Hope.