Hold Fast
The term for today is Hold Fast. It is a nauticle term to describe things staying put. When you anchor a boat in a harbor it is referred to, sometimes, as holding. To hold fast would be to stay firmly in place. It can also be used to describe gear that was belayed good. In the movie "Master and Commander" there was a charcter that used this phrase a lot. He was an old man that was part of the crew. He even had Hold Fast tatooed across his fingers. Before going into battle one time the old man looked at some younger guys on the boat and told them "The devil is aboard that there ship, you best hold fast." During battle the man suffered a horrible head wound. A doctor was able to open up the guys scull to help him with swelling (the whole time the doctor was doing the surgery the old guy was holding onto something and you could see the the words Hold Fast on his nuckles). The guy survived because he held fast. I too need to hold fast. I need to avoid contacting Heather and emailing her. She needs to learn what life is like if I am not there. If she isn't going to be there for me why should I be there for her at her becond call. There is pain aboard that there relationships....you best HOLD FAST
Replies
Good strategy mate. I wish I had applied it myself with my wife but I made the mistake of letting my emotions rule me and became desperate, needy and in my own opinion now pathetic. I was txting all the time, wanting to spend every second of the day with her while she was still here and she used that to pretty much destroy any self dignity I did have left. Take control and even though it may be the opposite of what your heart may tell you to do. Your head seems to be in the right place. Listen to it, keep your self dignity and respect and don\'t let emotion\'s rule on decisions. Easy for me to say now with hindsight.
hold fast ya sea dog,dont let ye maiden take the wind from yer sails.remeber:cursed is he who bring a maiden to sea :)
I hope that you are able to do this today..Sending prayers your way......
I\'m glad you came to this realization. I hope you\'re feeling better. Hang in there!
I think if she is the one who wants this separation/divorce, then she needs to live on her own. That means you don\'t pick up the cats from the vets for her. Keeping minimal contact is crucial to beginning to move on. At least I think so. I started to move on when I stopped calling my stbx so much, and just started to let him go. Good luck with your \'hold fast\' position!
Thanks, this was a word for me too.
Very excellent essay, great strategy, clear thinking.
is that like detachment? if it helps/works, go for it
Thank you for directing me to your journal entry it is pretty enlightening for how I am feeling today. I completley agree with avoiding contact and emailing, since my husband and I have always been so open with eachother about things, he is the first person I think of to call or email about something and in doing that I not letting him \"miss me\" or realize what it is like without me. I need to hold fast as well, thanks for the grea advice.
Words of wisdom. I will try to keep this in mind. Thanks!
Smart man
I hope this works for you
I will try to remember these words tonight when f**ktard gets home from visiting his gf in Kansas
If not I am calling you for one of those black spots