ho hum day

I sort of forgot about Green Smiley Monday yesterday.  It was actually a good day overall - until I went to bed.  Then I began to think of Lisa and started to cry - and cry.  I was up until 1:30 am.  Today I'm in a blue funk. 
I am walking daily but today is was hard.  We live in the foothills so we have hills to climb.  Some days I can come up our hill with no difficulty.  Today it was a struggle. 
I am getting tired of this roller coaster of emotions - and my emotions affect my body - I get backaches and headaches and I am sure they are stress related.  The sleeping difficulty does not help.
To make matters worse, Lisa's best friend emailed to say she has been ill and may have had a small heart attack.  She was so supportive and such a good friend so I am worried about her too.
Oh well, one day at a time.
How I miss Lisa - her laugh, her voice, her off the wall sense of humour, her common sense, and her compassion. 
 
 

Replies

biowoman
biowoman

Congratulations on walking everyday. Whether you realize it or not it is so good for you, your mental and physical health...I need to do that too. I am glad that your Monday was pretty good...that racing mind at bedtime is aggrevating though isn\'t...maybe start a new wind down routine...love and hugs...Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so proud of you my friend I know how hard it is to get up and walk have started again myself and feel so good after I am done. I inderstand about bed time it is the one time I cannot distract myself from thoughts. I am sending you love and peace today my friend
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

Missing our children with every breath even when sleep evades us and the foothills are in front of us. Gentle care to your healing heart and may you feel Lisa companioning you through your days. Love and hugs, Joanie
RememberKala
RememberKala

Yeah for walking!! So proud of you...and so understand those ho hum days. Missed green smiley monday myself, I often do, but I will try hard to \"smile green\" next monday. How \'bout it, me and you in the green next week, OK?
KandL
KandL

Hi Marlene, Nighttime is the most difficult time for me too. I do take melatonin to help sleep since I no longer take Ativan. I sit up as late as I can and keep the TV on when i go to bed so I don\'t think. At 16 months into this horrible journey it is what works for me. I too, was so sick of the roller coaster of emotions, constantly. Keep on walking, eat well, drink plenty of water and maybe a chiropractor can help with headaches, backaches. I hope you feel better physically and I know you will continue to heal from the trauma of losing Lisa, but it takes a very long time. Keep writing. Love to you and precious Lisa, Linda