His last words

I keep hearing in my mind my husbands last words to me. We had a normal day, work then home, cooked dinner on the grill of course. Even in Janurary the grill was always going. Good conversation and then some TV and sleep. About 3:30, when the alarm clock normally would go off I feel him touch my leg and wake me up. He said call 911, something's not right. Before I could get to the phone he fell to the floor. 911 dispatcher had me doing CPR on home until Emergency got here. Longest minutes of my life. At least once a day I can still him saying those words to me. I don't know how not to think about it. He never woke up, and I had to make the call on taking him off the machines two days later. All I wanted is to see his beautiful blue eyes again and hear his soft deep voice. We told each other at least three or four times a day, I love you. I miss that so much. Him calling me at lunch just to say hi and find out howy day was going. Just talking about nothing and always being together. I love you was always what I heard when I woke up in the morning and before I went to sleep every night. Why can't I hear those words instead?