His ED my insecurity
One of the worst things about ED in a relationship is that it doesn't just affect sex, it seeps through into every area of your life. Times apart are plagued with thoughts, reliving how things went that weekend, would it have worked better if........wondering.........thinking........analysing...........no respite from it.
my mind whirls and spins. It grasps onto every piece of conversation, remembering things he said. He used to tell me about his sexual exploits when he was younger, I can't match the apparent sexual stud he was then with the passive lazy man who barely moves off his back now. I have doubted his tales as fantasies but over the years the stories have stayed the same if I mention one of them.
i wonder often if he would be ok with someone else. I'm pretty sure it would be the same as it was with me, that it would work great for a few times then gradually stop working because it's related to his ADHD. And maybe I'm expecting too much. My friend says things change as you get older and you can't expect a relationship to look the same at 60 as it did at 25. That makes me feel worse, like there's no hope. Cos this stinks.
my mind whirls and spins. It grasps onto every piece of conversation, remembering things he said. He used to tell me about his sexual exploits when he was younger, I can't match the apparent sexual stud he was then with the passive lazy man who barely moves off his back now. I have doubted his tales as fantasies but over the years the stories have stayed the same if I mention one of them.
i wonder often if he would be ok with someone else. I'm pretty sure it would be the same as it was with me, that it would work great for a few times then gradually stop working because it's related to his ADHD. And maybe I'm expecting too much. My friend says things change as you get older and you can't expect a relationship to look the same at 60 as it did at 25. That makes me feel worse, like there's no hope. Cos this stinks.
Replies
If he\'s not willing to see the doc for ED meds can he still exercise? Exercise can help get the blood flowing again and increase his testosterone levels. Doing squats carefully and increases blood flow to the pelvic region (this help me a lot). Exercising will make him feel better about himself and build confidence, and hopefully that will move into the bedroom. Also see if he\'s willing to wear a cock ring. The ring helps keep the blood from flowing back out of the penis during erections. I wear one and my wife really enjoys the pleasure it provides.
I am sorry you are experiencing this. We are just unfortunate to have to experience this. I know my ex boyfriend always wanted sex no matter what. Even if we argued he wanted make up sex. All men are different. The problem is not with us but with them. I meet men now who want to have sex with me and don\'t understand my husband.
I don\'t think it is age. I think these men have a lot of unnecessary anxiety around sex. If only they could just relax and enjoy their sex lives.
I know this is very hard and affect every aspect of our lives. Just know he has the problem not you. We should not let this affect us so much but it does.
I think of Hillary Clinton who despite her husband\'s affair would not let it deter her from running for president. I am trying to be strong too and not let this sex less marriage affect me so much.
The ring sounds like a great idea Bubba.
Sorry Bubba I missed your comment, not sure how long ago you wrote it? He finally did see the doc last Dec, but his blood pressure was up slightly so the doc said to have it redone a week or so later, then mentioned maybe getting a monitor. Five MONTHS later, after taking his BP regularly and it being normal, he\'s finally made another appointment. But I\'ve finally seen the truth, that real sex is just not that important to him. He\'s obviously happy with what we do manage, and that\'s all that matters to him. He wasn\'t going to make an effort to give me what I want. He just strung me along with promises of getting pills sometime in the future.
The cock ring probably would have been worth a try but tbh I seem to have moved on from the time when I was tying myself in knots and wearing myself out thinking of ways to improve the situation. I think I finally saw the light. We don\'t live together so I simply don\'t stay over as often. He\'s very set in his ways so he never stayed at my house, and \'sex\' only happened in the morning in bed, so those situations don\'t arise now, I stopped initiating and it highlighted the fact that he never did.
It\'s easier for me now that all we do is to have a few meals together and to do a few things together during the day. I think I forget that he\'s an old guy who probably just wanted a BJ from me once a week and didn\'t want to do anything too demanding. He said several times that I need a younger man and he\'s probably right (he\'s 67 Lightbulb and doc said it is age related). He still thinks of us as being in a relationship and tells people we get on so well because we have some time apart, but I feel like he\'s talking about someone else. I don\'t feel like I\'m in a relationship at all, I feel we\'re just friends. Friends withOUT a benefits lol