HIS CRYING GIVES ME GREAT STRENGTH....

Yesterday I was feeling kind BLAH!!! Most of the day. I didn't comb my hair, didn't put on makeup. All I did was take a shower and PLOP back on the sofa. I had a trickle of a tear here or there cause I am woman enough to admit,  I MISS HIM. I miss cracking jokes and watching him bust a gut laughing cause he was always surprised by my qwerky humor. I miss him calling my name like he has something serious on his mind and he simply utters, "I love you". Where did that person go I wonder...ho-hum. I guess he got buried under the thousands of panties thrown his way. PIG!!! Anyway. I was down on myself so I moped all day. Then I'm on the phone inviting a male friend over to just sit with me and baby and GUESS WHO CALLS. I don't answer, so he leaves a message. More HUMBLE than all the previous. Asking if I would please return call, so we can talk. NOT!!!!! Oh sure I miss him, YES I love him, Yes I want him home with me and his new son. BUT I CANNOT DO IT..I JUST REFUSE. When I think of all the times I have cried, when I look in the mirror and MY J-LO booty has deflated into a small basketball, when I think of all the nights I would look at the clock and it says 3:00 am of 5:00 am ..THOSE THINGS assist me in IGNORING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. The last time I uttered a word to him, my last words to him were, "YOU ARE DEAD TO ME". And that is how I am looking at this situation right now. He needs to suffer...he needs to cry...he needs to continue to have to look at that beautiful angel for a few hours and have the heart wrenching task of packing him up and sending him back "HOME" with mommy. He needs to understand that IT WAS THE WORST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE. He left a message the other day saying, I haven't seen your face in 2 months and it's killing me.......GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!! I figure 6 more months of NOT ONE DAMN WORD.....not one vision of my face.....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will do him and his BS ego some real adjusting. If he meets someone within that time frames and forgets about me and moves on..THEN IT JUST WASN'T MEANT FOR US. But if after 6 months and he has suffered GOOD AND PLENTY and STILL wants to come home....I may consider under a few circumstances...
1.) He will re-commit himself to GOD and we will attend church at least 2 Sunday's a month.
2.) We will get married immediately, no more playing house and eating up all the MILK AND COOKIES with obligation..NO MORE!!!
3.) He will move me out of this apartment where he tried to talk to the little itchy twat chick downstairs..YEAH SHE HAS THE ITCHIES!!! LOL NASTY SLUR!!!
 
 
I do believe I will ultimately take him back and try one more time cause I LOVE HIM, WE HAVE A SON, HE IS LATINO AND HIS FAMILY IS BIG ON MARRIAGE AND  WANTS US TO GET MARRIED AND I BELIEVE HE WILL HANDLE BEING A HUSBAND WITH FAR MORE RESPONSIBILITY than being my boyfriend. Latino's are known for being romantic and loving men...
 
Although I can't take him back until he really realizes the seriousness of his actions.....I LOVE YOU FREDERICK....I always have and probably always will. I just hate who you have become.