Highway to Hell

...actually, not, I'm not on the "highway" because I already arrived there a looonnngggg time ago!  Sometimes I think if I died and went to Hell I would be hard pressed to know the difference!  I made the mistake of actually saying that once when my husband and I belonged to the "cult" that was known as the International Churches of Christ.  I got myself into very BIG trouble with that...blasphemy...putting myself on the level of Jesus...
Anyway, so I'm at work this afternoon and I get a text from my older daughter--the one who just gave up her baby, the one whose son we're raising, the one who had an abortion at 19 and who also just turned 27 two weeks ago:  (caution, contains words that may be graphic and disturbing and may cause visual images to the more imaginative among us that might be better left unvisualized)
"I'm freaking out cuz I can't see how it would be possible.  I haven't even had sex...his thingy was close to my thingy once...but no actual sex or fluids...this sucks."
I figured either I had just missed some vital piece of information or she intended the text for someone else.  Then I get part 2 that tells me they think she has Trichomonas, which she could only have gotten last September when she had unprotected sex with 2 guys the week she and her boyfriend were fighting and he had kicked her out....which is why we're not sure who the father of the baby she just gave up is.  I guess TWO pregnancy tests came up positive, weakly, but still positive.  They're doing a blood test to confirm.  We won't know until tomorrow.  Well, I suppose I should be happy that for once I'll know before she's 5 or 6 months along.
Just  S H O O T   M E   N O W!  I want to know who, over the age of 16, DOESN'T know that it only takes 1 sperm cell to get pregnant...and it only takes 1 time, and that yes, you CAN get pregnant right after you give birth even if you haven't had your period yet.  And yes, 1 single solitary sperm cell can find it's way to that egg without any company from his buddies--especially if getting pregnant is the last thing in the world you want to have happen.  For Pete's sake, her best friend in high school had a sister who was conceived when her dad's "thingy" was near her mom's "thingy".  We've discussed this.  Every time (3 going on 4) she tells me that she doesn't understand how in the world she got pregnant because they were being "really careful" and he ALWAYS "pulled out" in time.  I want to bang my head against the wall.  Or hers!  I would laugh right now if I didn't know that this was somehow going to cost me money. 
I also want to know why I always end up having to pay for my kids' mistakes, if not financially, then emotionally??  And what did I do in a past life to have to pay such a price now?? 
Yes, things COULD be worse.  I do recognize that I have MANY, MANY blessings.  Too many to count.  I have my health, a job, a place to live.... My kids are all healthy--at least physically.  My life isn't all one huge misery.  I have good days as well as bad.  And I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle (I'd like to know who the hell he thinks I am--freaking Mother Teresa??)...  blah, blah...  I'm "tying a knot and hanging in there."  "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."  yadda, yadda, yadda...  Despite appearances, I'm really not into "navel gazing."  That much.  I just like to have my "pity parties" now and then, invite a few friends, and then I'm over it.  Mostly.  And actually, I really do a lot more laughing about my life than crying over it.  Usually.  Besides, whatever I can't laugh off, I can medicate for!!
They're coming to take me away, ha ha..... Oh, LOL, 2 songs this time!!

Replies

trisha9054
trisha9054

Like you I laugh most of the time. I want to laugh at this but...but... I just don\'t know what to say. I know you raised your daughter better than this. A screw must have slipped loose in her head.

Some times in spite of all you do you get that one child who just doesn\'t comprehend right from wrong,his thingy and her thingy will make a baby if you are not on birth control. That having that many children with unprotected sex is so wrong. I\'m sorry I would have to suggest she get herself \"fixed\" so this doesn\'t happen again.

She has no regard for the anguish this is putting you through. Another grandchild you may never see. You are already taking care of her son and I know you love him dearly but this daughter (child) of yours needs a good dose of reality somehow. At 27 she should be more responsible and be using some type of birth control.

I hope you are not offended by my inclination to laugh. It was the his thingy and her thingy that wanted to set me off to laughing and this is really serious for you. I will just add that between the ex and I we have three grandchildren we will never see. I do understand a bit about how devastating this is for you. I\'m just so sorry she is causing you such distress.
SendInTheClowns
SendInTheClowns

Nah, go ahead and laugh. If I didn\'t laugh I\'d have to kill myself (not that the thought hasn\'t crossed my mind). The truth of the matter is, she has been a heroin addict for the last 10 or so years. She has had \"clean\" periods where she used alcohol instead. She\'s been on and off Methadone, right now she\'s on. When you add drug addiction to the equation all reality and responsibility goes out the window. Her emotional development effectively stopped at 16, and it shows. Oh! I guess that puts her in the \"under 16\" category! Thanks! You\'ve just cleared up the mystery of why she doesn\'t comprehend how babies are made! LOL! The last time she told me she couldn\'t understand how it had happened I told her that science has finally discovered the cause and there\'s a cure!

By the way, I try not to think of the number of guys she\'s had unprotected sex with--I don\'t think SHE\'s even sure. Of course in her mind, if she didn\'t consent, it didn\'t really happen. I can count the number of men I\'ve been with on the fingers of one hand and don\'t even need to use half of those. Hell, I can count the number of men I\'ve kissed on the fingers of one hand. Sad....
trisha9054
trisha9054

I grew up in the 60\'s and was raised in a bar, worked in our family owned bars at 17. Two husbands, two daughters, no shot gun weddings. I too can count the number of men I have been with on the fingers of one hand. The last time I willingly kissed any man that wasn\'t my husband was way before we were married. Not counting the stupid men who thought they would smack a birthday kiss on me.

The X\'s track record is another story. Can we say he\'s the energizer bunny. To phrase your daughter\'s words: his thingy liked other women\'s thingies (is that even a word) a lot. I hate to think of the extreme number of women his thingy mated up with since he was in what I consider third world countries for most of the last ten years.

I\'m over two years post divorce so I can laugh about this. Thank you for letting me laugh through your post. I think we would make good friends. We can both laugh our way through disasters. I hope I can laugh as the ex tries to cause me some financial harm in court again.


Your daughter\'s drug addiction could possibly excuse some of her actions. My ex has no excuse for being a serial cheater who has unprotected sex with whatever crosses his path.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Your post made me laugh, something I have had little to laugh about for a long time. Thank you for making me laugh, and I look forward to being your friend, if you want to be.