Highway to Hell
...actually, not, I'm not on the "highway" because I already arrived there a looonnngggg time ago! Sometimes I think if I died and went to Hell I would be hard pressed to know the difference! I made the mistake of actually saying that once when my husband and I belonged to the "cult" that was known as the International Churches of Christ. I got myself into very BIG trouble with that...blasphemy...putting myself on the level of Jesus...
Anyway, so I'm at work this afternoon and I get a text from my older daughter--the one who just gave up her baby, the one whose son we're raising, the one who had an abortion at 19 and who also just turned 27 two weeks ago: (caution, contains words that may be graphic and disturbing and may cause visual images to the more imaginative among us that might be better left unvisualized)
"I'm freaking out cuz I can't see how it would be possible. I haven't even had sex...his thingy was close to my thingy once...but no actual sex or fluids...this sucks."
I figured either I had just missed some vital piece of information or she intended the text for someone else. Then I get part 2 that tells me they think she has Trichomonas, which she could only have gotten last September when she had unprotected sex with 2 guys the week she and her boyfriend were fighting and he had kicked her out....which is why we're not sure who the father of the baby she just gave up is. I guess TWO pregnancy tests came up positive, weakly, but still positive. They're doing a blood test to confirm. We won't know until tomorrow. Well, I suppose I should be happy that for once I'll know before she's 5 or 6 months along.
Just S H O O T M E N O W! I want to know who, over the age of 16, DOESN'T know that it only takes 1 sperm cell to get pregnant...and it only takes 1 time, and that yes, you CAN get pregnant right after you give birth even if you haven't had your period yet. And yes, 1 single solitary sperm cell can find it's way to that egg without any company from his buddies--especially if getting pregnant is the last thing in the world you want to have happen. For Pete's sake, her best friend in high school had a sister who was conceived when her dad's "thingy" was near her mom's "thingy". We've discussed this. Every time (3 going on 4) she tells me that she doesn't understand how in the world she got pregnant because they were being "really careful" and he ALWAYS "pulled out" in time. I want to bang my head against the wall. Or hers! I would laugh right now if I didn't know that this was somehow going to cost me money.
I also want to know why I always end up having to pay for my kids' mistakes, if not financially, then emotionally?? And what did I do in a past life to have to pay such a price now??
Yes, things COULD be worse. I do recognize that I have MANY, MANY blessings. Too many to count. I have my health, a job, a place to live.... My kids are all healthy--at least physically. My life isn't all one huge misery. I have good days as well as bad. And I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle (I'd like to know who the hell he thinks I am--freaking Mother Teresa??)... blah, blah... I'm "tying a knot and hanging in there." "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." yadda, yadda, yadda... Despite appearances, I'm really not into "navel gazing." That much. I just like to have my "pity parties" now and then, invite a few friends, and then I'm over it. Mostly. And actually, I really do a lot more laughing about my life than crying over it. Usually. Besides, whatever I can't laugh off, I can medicate for!!
They're coming to take me away, ha ha..... Oh, LOL, 2 songs this time!!
Anyway, so I'm at work this afternoon and I get a text from my older daughter--the one who just gave up her baby, the one whose son we're raising, the one who had an abortion at 19 and who also just turned 27 two weeks ago: (caution, contains words that may be graphic and disturbing and may cause visual images to the more imaginative among us that might be better left unvisualized)
"I'm freaking out cuz I can't see how it would be possible. I haven't even had sex...his thingy was close to my thingy once...but no actual sex or fluids...this sucks."
I figured either I had just missed some vital piece of information or she intended the text for someone else. Then I get part 2 that tells me they think she has Trichomonas, which she could only have gotten last September when she had unprotected sex with 2 guys the week she and her boyfriend were fighting and he had kicked her out....which is why we're not sure who the father of the baby she just gave up is. I guess TWO pregnancy tests came up positive, weakly, but still positive. They're doing a blood test to confirm. We won't know until tomorrow. Well, I suppose I should be happy that for once I'll know before she's 5 or 6 months along.
Just S H O O T M E N O W! I want to know who, over the age of 16, DOESN'T know that it only takes 1 sperm cell to get pregnant...and it only takes 1 time, and that yes, you CAN get pregnant right after you give birth even if you haven't had your period yet. And yes, 1 single solitary sperm cell can find it's way to that egg without any company from his buddies--especially if getting pregnant is the last thing in the world you want to have happen. For Pete's sake, her best friend in high school had a sister who was conceived when her dad's "thingy" was near her mom's "thingy". We've discussed this. Every time (3 going on 4) she tells me that she doesn't understand how in the world she got pregnant because they were being "really careful" and he ALWAYS "pulled out" in time. I want to bang my head against the wall. Or hers! I would laugh right now if I didn't know that this was somehow going to cost me money.
I also want to know why I always end up having to pay for my kids' mistakes, if not financially, then emotionally?? And what did I do in a past life to have to pay such a price now??
Yes, things COULD be worse. I do recognize that I have MANY, MANY blessings. Too many to count. I have my health, a job, a place to live.... My kids are all healthy--at least physically. My life isn't all one huge misery. I have good days as well as bad. And I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle (I'd like to know who the hell he thinks I am--freaking Mother Teresa??)... blah, blah... I'm "tying a knot and hanging in there." "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." yadda, yadda, yadda... Despite appearances, I'm really not into "navel gazing." That much. I just like to have my "pity parties" now and then, invite a few friends, and then I'm over it. Mostly. And actually, I really do a lot more laughing about my life than crying over it. Usually. Besides, whatever I can't laugh off, I can medicate for!!
They're coming to take me away, ha ha..... Oh, LOL, 2 songs this time!!
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