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Lilaolivia
Mood:  Ok

Hiding Out

I spent the day in bed yesterday...  I ate cereal and a pig in blanket...  I am not certain what else...  I did not want to wake up...  
My reality is hitting me in the face, and it scares and frustrates me...
I have heard depression is anger turned inward...  My anger is already turned towards myself so there is no need for an outside party...
I have not showered in days...  I truly do not care...  
My lifestyle changed dramatically in the past few weeks...  Now I am more able to see what I was running from...
It's not easy being me, but is it always easy for anyone?
 
 
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anneccleaver
anneccleaver

I would recommend getting dopamine levels checked especially if you are finding that memory is being affected as well. There are conditions that make you have low levels of it, Depression, Alzheimers and Fibromyalgia are to name a few. http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Dopamine
anneccleaver
anneccleaver

There are also meds that increase levels
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sometimes \"hiding\" is the best way to treat emerging changes in ourselves, our lives, and how we think and feel about ourselves. Sometimes there are no \"pills\" to \"fix\" this but, if you find yourself in this rut a month from now, you may need some medication to help your depression. The actual \"fix\" is internal work, very very hard, and well worth it. A \"new\" you is being born, think of your hidey hole as a cocoon. What will emerge? First and foremost: FORGIVE YOURSELF. Second: see how you are loved by people in your life, you are lovable. Third: you\'re already making strides at \"recovery\" by acknowledging the \"problem\". You won\'t be hiding much longer, the signs of rebirth are beginning to peek around the edges.