i know its been several days..friday, between the service, the funeral of my cousin, my family, the memories that cruely flashed back to me, left me so completely drained. i stayed over at my parents house friday night and came home on sat afternoon. i just didnt want to do anything but to really try to take care of myself. i needed a brief brake from here. trust me, i missed you all and i hope i didnt worry anybody. all the shit from the last few days, has actually left me ill today. as of last night, i kind of felt that something broke in me. not sure what or how...or even how it will be affecting me, but something felt as though something died in me. i basically cried myself to sleep ad have the froggy eyes to prove it. after i catch up with all of you as best as i can, i am just going to go back to sleep. i just feel like i want to be alone...but i cant do much sbout that since trey is here. hopefully we can just stay out of each others way. i have nothing left at the moment. too tired to fight or anything. i'll be fine...i always am, right?ttyl p.s. i will catch up on journals as soon as i can.