Hes been home.... but
He came home and it was good for a long time... but now... hes so angry all the time. Hes become controlling and mean. I feel like all I did for him while in there was for nothing. He claims hes not broken but hes nothing like what he used to be... I'm so sad. He doesnt even seem to care... what does all of this mean?
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I wish I had some wise words but I dont. I hope things get better. Listen to your gut. It takes two to make the effort to make a relationship work.
Hello. I haven't been on here for a long time I guess because mine's been home for almost 2 years now.
I think they do get very controlling when they first get out of prison because they've had no control over anything in their life while they are in there.
Mine still thinks he can be controlling but I have learned to talk back when it's necessary.
We've had many battles, it takes a while to get used to each other again. And mine went through many temp jobs where he worked his ass off so he could get hired full-time and then they laid him off so he d get really depressed, frustrated an angry and take it out on me.
Now I choose my battles sometimes I just shut up and let him be bossy sometimes I let him have it. It really does take them a while to calm down.
I just reread your post. Sometimes it doesn't feel like they care about us because all they can think of is about themselves their needs what they want. And Believe Me Mine wanted it all.
In prison are deprived of the right to go shopping and pick things out for themselves or make decisions for themselves so when they get home they want it all want it all.
Freedom hits them hard. They want to spend their money on whatever they want to spend it on even if there's bills today they don't want to be told at that stupid that we have to be careful and then everything falls apart for a while.
Then I get depressed because they're behind in the bills and they can't buy what they want and they take it out on us.
Then slowly they turn into a human being again and life gets better.
I finally convinced my guy that he didn't need to go apply for jobs through temp service agency. He didn't have to be afraid to put on there that he was a felon and he could possibly find a job on his own, and he finally did and it made him feel so good because he got hired instantly and they're using his talents and his experience and he's making a ton of money now and he's able to pay off bills and buy things for both of us again.
I hope this explains things a little bit to you since I just went through it for the umpteenth time with him but this time he stayed out of trouble for two years and he's finally doing great and yours can too.
I don't know if you remember me or not but I haven't been on for a while I guess cuz he's been home but things do get better believe me I know cuz I've been going through this for years with him. And I can for you too.
I'm not very religious but God bless you and I hope everything works out keep in touch