Here I go again..does the pain ever stop?
So we went to the dreaded baby shower a couple of weeks ago and it was better than I expected. In fact, we had a wonderful time! Okay, maybe the mimosas and martinis helped a bit..maybe...I was really proud of myself. I didn't lose it once during the shower and even offered the parents to be that we would babysit when they needed a break and we offered the dad to be to spend the night at our house if he wasn't going to spend the night in the hospital with his wife since we live minutes away from the hospital and they live an hour away without traffic. And it was all sincere..
Okay, my niece is 6 months pregnant and I've finally accepted it and trying to deal with my own feelings. I'm sure that our relationship will probably never be the same because I wasn't there for her but there comes a time in your life when you need to protect your heart because no one else will. I have always been the type of person to put everyone else's feelings/needs first and then my own. I can't do that anymore.
So DH's best friend is a man whore and his new 'flavor of the month' (they have been going out for about 6-7 weeks) wasn't feeling well last week, went to the doctor and surprise! She's expecting. It's not like she didn't tell him before they started having sex. She told him that all he had to do was look at her and she would get pregnant. Well, he has a history of having unprotected sex, always has even though DH has been telling him to wrap it forever. So he tried it once with the new girl and of course didn't like it so he stopped. He claims that they had unprotected sex once and she got pregnant. It was an accident. Really? Oh, she's 27 and he just turned 41. We met her for the first time last week cuz it was his bday. It was obvious she dressed for her man; my husband who is a very straight man was uncomfortable with her outfit. Bob's eyes were fixed on her chest the entire night. I am not a prude but I was very uncomfortable to say the least. They both sensed we didn't like her but she made no effort in getting to know us either. We were all there to celebrate his bday and it was like we were all invisible. Sorry, I'm getting offtrack..so we're all questioning if this is his baby. DH told him to get a DNA test and although he agreed but not untill after the baby is born because he doesn't want to stick a needle into the baby (pardon me for asking but when the baby is born, don't you need to stick a needle in the baby to get a blood test? so what's the difference before or after the birth? ) bob told her he wanted the test done and she got all upset saying the baby was his. why was the girl not on birthcontrol? she already has 2 toddlers from an exboyfriend and if she is so damn fertile, why isn't she on birth control?? okay, okay, i'm getting offtrack again --
It's just not fair. It really isn't. After my DH hung up with his friend, I turned to him and said -- this is why i get up so upset. Now do you understand why? How do you feel that your friend will be a father before you? Don't you feel angry? No, he didn't feel those emotions. He feels sorry for him.
Oh and then the best part -- kay, bob doesn't know for sure that the baby is his so what does he do? He goes out and spends about $17 k for an engagement ring. HELLO?? Anyone there?? Why in the F---- would you do that? Don't you think it's a little premature?
I cannot stomach this shit, I really can't. Asking for all of your advice. I have been through lots of emotional stuff in my life but never this great magnitude. The pain of losing my Mother was huge but the pain of not being able to conceive is way beyond.
Okay, my niece is 6 months pregnant and I've finally accepted it and trying to deal with my own feelings. I'm sure that our relationship will probably never be the same because I wasn't there for her but there comes a time in your life when you need to protect your heart because no one else will. I have always been the type of person to put everyone else's feelings/needs first and then my own. I can't do that anymore.
So DH's best friend is a man whore and his new 'flavor of the month' (they have been going out for about 6-7 weeks) wasn't feeling well last week, went to the doctor and surprise! She's expecting. It's not like she didn't tell him before they started having sex. She told him that all he had to do was look at her and she would get pregnant. Well, he has a history of having unprotected sex, always has even though DH has been telling him to wrap it forever. So he tried it once with the new girl and of course didn't like it so he stopped. He claims that they had unprotected sex once and she got pregnant. It was an accident. Really? Oh, she's 27 and he just turned 41. We met her for the first time last week cuz it was his bday. It was obvious she dressed for her man; my husband who is a very straight man was uncomfortable with her outfit. Bob's eyes were fixed on her chest the entire night. I am not a prude but I was very uncomfortable to say the least. They both sensed we didn't like her but she made no effort in getting to know us either. We were all there to celebrate his bday and it was like we were all invisible. Sorry, I'm getting offtrack..so we're all questioning if this is his baby. DH told him to get a DNA test and although he agreed but not untill after the baby is born because he doesn't want to stick a needle into the baby (pardon me for asking but when the baby is born, don't you need to stick a needle in the baby to get a blood test? so what's the difference before or after the birth? ) bob told her he wanted the test done and she got all upset saying the baby was his. why was the girl not on birthcontrol? she already has 2 toddlers from an exboyfriend and if she is so damn fertile, why isn't she on birth control?? okay, okay, i'm getting offtrack again --
It's just not fair. It really isn't. After my DH hung up with his friend, I turned to him and said -- this is why i get up so upset. Now do you understand why? How do you feel that your friend will be a father before you? Don't you feel angry? No, he didn't feel those emotions. He feels sorry for him.
Oh and then the best part -- kay, bob doesn't know for sure that the baby is his so what does he do? He goes out and spends about $17 k for an engagement ring. HELLO?? Anyone there?? Why in the F---- would you do that? Don't you think it's a little premature?
I cannot stomach this shit, I really can't. Asking for all of your advice. I have been through lots of emotional stuff in my life but never this great magnitude. The pain of losing my Mother was huge but the pain of not being able to conceive is way beyond.
Replies
Honestly, it is just sooo frustrating how some people take some things for granted and behave irresponsibly my dear..and you r thinking I can be so much better mom and much appreciative ,right?
well..just try and think how you are going to have the most precious babies and am being mean here,lol..but she will end up with a messed up relationship on top of a new born..she is just being so careless and unfeeling in my opinion and this happening to someone yu know is just sooo irritating..
do what makes you feel good..:)
Thank you so much for taking the time to post your comments (and caring). :)
Well I gotta tell you that engagement ring was the biggest waste of money - he might as well of flushed it down the toilet. Geez.. your husband\'s friend is a piece of work - I feel sorry for him as well... getting a girl pregnant knowing her only a few weeks is not the setting for happily ever after. (Sorry if I\'m being too honest.) I\'m sorry you have to deal with his idiocy and the results. I am very glad you had fun at the shower - hehe - I\'m sure the mimosa\'s had NOTHING to do with it!!! (((HUGS))) to you...