Here goes nothing

Well its April and I haven't heard anything from Royal Farms what a big surprise that she had her phone off for non payment. As of today things are stacking up haven't renewed my DL or T wasnt  done what the heck she can add that to the list as I will get blamed for that as well but of course i will be the one in trouble as always. At least my anxiety is in check for being on the hormones that I don't have thoughts of undesired things running through my head. 
I still get the pop shots thrown at me about me being a trans , so now instead of my name being said in conversations I'm being called him now , I would prefer her instead. 
Anyway after waiting a week i'm taking the car and getting my drug testing for Family Dollar for the position of assistant manager I know I will pass that but its my background check that I'm concerned about I hope I pass it so I can start my second job. It will make me feel better about myself , mostly I will be closet to my goal in leaving her to live my life. I do care about her but there is no love in this marriage and she has made it clear many times, I just feel alone with an empty heart.