Here comes Christmas

Hope everyone is doing well. I've been sick for 3 weeks with some kind of virus.I have never coughed so much in my life.And top all that off I'm very depressed about the holidays.I hope one day in my life I will enjoy Christmas again. Haven't written much on here but I want to tell everyone that your my strength I don't get it at home I don't get it from my family It's like Justin never existed.I sometimes wonder if it's because I cry but when I do cry it makes me feel better.They always say it's going to be ok I feel worse now then I did the 1st year.Second year coming up scares me to death.I just have a weird feeling inside (sick and lonely)  Hope everyone tries to a have a Merry Christmas my theory is I just think it's Jesus's birthday.I think that's how I'll cope this year.I'm going to my Mom's for Christmas wish me luck because their's 40 people in her house.MY first year since Justin died.I'm going to give it a try. God Bless to all.Love,Vicki