Here and there...
In trying to take in and enjoy the positive pleasures of the day, like enjoying our unseasonably warm yet pleasant stretch of weather going back through September, with a sharp swing from 93 to 37 over a two day period before rebounding, ahhh…there’s still butterflies fluttering around and the roses came into another bloom period. Remember these days in the midst of a winter blast and that life will come back again pushing its way towards the sun’s life sustaining rays.
My depression continues to kick my ass and its holding me down, although my sense of humor has been more regular and I love to laugh. The one major thing that’s been hanging over my head is that my ex gf STILL has some crap she left behind after 3 months now and many broken engagements that forced me to get up way earlier than I usually do and/or getting stuck at the house, when I could be running errands, canceling via Facebook instead of the phone in the middle of the day…in all a total disrespect for my time and the emotional stress it puts me through.
Today I wrote a line in the sand informing her this is her FINAL CHANCE, then it goes on the porch for 72 hours (3 days) before being considered abandoned property and discarded. I need and will get closure on all this BS of a fractured fairy tale I once called a relationship. Speaking of things gone horribly wrong, my divorce of four years is coming up this month, aka “Liberation Day.” I’ve come a long ways since than, starting with yoga to help discipline and focus again, along with the benefits of gradually relieving my chronic lower back pain to nothing or moderate discomfort I can deal with.
This Fall yoga class I’m the only male in a group of 15, no couples or gay guys and since there’s three first timers, our instructor is gradually getting into the more difficult and strenuous positions with each class, which is a good beginning for me after missing the summer session. It’s not a competition, which I need to keep in mind, as I was a competitive runner well past my high school and military days. An early knee injury and back problems keep me away from what I enjoyed most, but taking my mountain bike out on some trails might be a good substitute these days.
Sunday: Amazing what a little threat (?) will do to get my ex gf motivated. In brief she responded to my mss with an attitude and told me to leave the front door unlocked if I’m not going to be up early enough for her! The fuck I will you stupid bitch! I grew up in the NY suburbs; you keep your doors locked PERIOD. I do it all the time; you know that! I told her to call first before she left, which she did, halleluiah and AMEN to that! Of course as soon as she leaves and I go out back and there is a matching piece to a living room end table without the glass top, so as agreed, it’ll go on the front porch the next time she’s in the area. She lives by the Lake Michigan, 25 miles from here now and that region gets 30” more snow on top of our average 73” a year and she hates the snow and cold. LMAO, oh how karma works out so very well by there own hands and will.
Know I feel like I can BREATH again and relax. Get on with my life, where ever its now going to take me. Like the idea of explaining WHY my ex’s junk is still around to a new potential gf would be at best awkward. I have patience, but also limits and boundaries when others try to run over me or take advantage of my good will and character.
I’ve been getting better at getting more done each day and starting to close up the house during cooler nights really brings out the dog smell in the carpet, which hasn’t been done in over a year, but need to junk one coach first and its too heavy for just two people.
In breaking the association of her golden retriever now adopted by me, she is nothing more than a previous owner in my mind. Upon leaving the last time with her car fully loaded, she said good bye to the dog and then the dog came over to me and nuzzled her head between my legs; something she does when frightened by fireworks or thunder or her way of saying I want to stay here. She gets along with my Pit/Boxer great with supervision and they must be separated when receiving their wet food or meat treats on occasion, otherwise “Hoover” will inhale his and then bully the female from hers, as she takes her time eating, just like my prior female Boxer did.
My daughter living here is benefiting both of us quite nicely. It keeps me on a better eating schedule and she needs a sounding board, support and guidance as deals with the impending divorce and her paranoid husband just being a dick. I can handle so much, then need to get away, go outside, have a smoke and some solitude. She gets out often enough and tries to do some exercise every day whether it’s one of two weekly yoga classes, bicycling or walking at a park. She gets bored easy, but we get in a game of Gin Rummy and although there’s been some major wins on both sides, lately I still come back and her frustration makes her all the more determined “to kick my ass”. LOL. Your trash talk don’t even talk today :-0 Gin is like Backgammon; it’s all about numbers and statistical probabilities or the number of odds in your favor at any given point and in the future. I’m competitive, but know realistically no one wins all the time in a game of chance no matter how good your strategy is.
~A week later: The transition into fall weather has finally taken hold with some color change and the arrival of FRESH apples and cider grown locally just a few miles from me and they’re expecting a near record harvest of 30 million bushels, which makes up for the major losses last year of 90% due to a late freeze and then severe summer drought. I’ll continue with other news as I get to it. Peace out!
My depression continues to kick my ass and its holding me down, although my sense of humor has been more regular and I love to laugh. The one major thing that’s been hanging over my head is that my ex gf STILL has some crap she left behind after 3 months now and many broken engagements that forced me to get up way earlier than I usually do and/or getting stuck at the house, when I could be running errands, canceling via Facebook instead of the phone in the middle of the day…in all a total disrespect for my time and the emotional stress it puts me through.
Today I wrote a line in the sand informing her this is her FINAL CHANCE, then it goes on the porch for 72 hours (3 days) before being considered abandoned property and discarded. I need and will get closure on all this BS of a fractured fairy tale I once called a relationship. Speaking of things gone horribly wrong, my divorce of four years is coming up this month, aka “Liberation Day.” I’ve come a long ways since than, starting with yoga to help discipline and focus again, along with the benefits of gradually relieving my chronic lower back pain to nothing or moderate discomfort I can deal with.
This Fall yoga class I’m the only male in a group of 15, no couples or gay guys and since there’s three first timers, our instructor is gradually getting into the more difficult and strenuous positions with each class, which is a good beginning for me after missing the summer session. It’s not a competition, which I need to keep in mind, as I was a competitive runner well past my high school and military days. An early knee injury and back problems keep me away from what I enjoyed most, but taking my mountain bike out on some trails might be a good substitute these days.
Sunday: Amazing what a little threat (?) will do to get my ex gf motivated. In brief she responded to my mss with an attitude and told me to leave the front door unlocked if I’m not going to be up early enough for her! The fuck I will you stupid bitch! I grew up in the NY suburbs; you keep your doors locked PERIOD. I do it all the time; you know that! I told her to call first before she left, which she did, halleluiah and AMEN to that! Of course as soon as she leaves and I go out back and there is a matching piece to a living room end table without the glass top, so as agreed, it’ll go on the front porch the next time she’s in the area. She lives by the Lake Michigan, 25 miles from here now and that region gets 30” more snow on top of our average 73” a year and she hates the snow and cold. LMAO, oh how karma works out so very well by there own hands and will.
Know I feel like I can BREATH again and relax. Get on with my life, where ever its now going to take me. Like the idea of explaining WHY my ex’s junk is still around to a new potential gf would be at best awkward. I have patience, but also limits and boundaries when others try to run over me or take advantage of my good will and character.
I’ve been getting better at getting more done each day and starting to close up the house during cooler nights really brings out the dog smell in the carpet, which hasn’t been done in over a year, but need to junk one coach first and its too heavy for just two people.
In breaking the association of her golden retriever now adopted by me, she is nothing more than a previous owner in my mind. Upon leaving the last time with her car fully loaded, she said good bye to the dog and then the dog came over to me and nuzzled her head between my legs; something she does when frightened by fireworks or thunder or her way of saying I want to stay here. She gets along with my Pit/Boxer great with supervision and they must be separated when receiving their wet food or meat treats on occasion, otherwise “Hoover” will inhale his and then bully the female from hers, as she takes her time eating, just like my prior female Boxer did.
My daughter living here is benefiting both of us quite nicely. It keeps me on a better eating schedule and she needs a sounding board, support and guidance as deals with the impending divorce and her paranoid husband just being a dick. I can handle so much, then need to get away, go outside, have a smoke and some solitude. She gets out often enough and tries to do some exercise every day whether it’s one of two weekly yoga classes, bicycling or walking at a park. She gets bored easy, but we get in a game of Gin Rummy and although there’s been some major wins on both sides, lately I still come back and her frustration makes her all the more determined “to kick my ass”. LOL. Your trash talk don’t even talk today :-0 Gin is like Backgammon; it’s all about numbers and statistical probabilities or the number of odds in your favor at any given point and in the future. I’m competitive, but know realistically no one wins all the time in a game of chance no matter how good your strategy is.
~A week later: The transition into fall weather has finally taken hold with some color change and the arrival of FRESH apples and cider grown locally just a few miles from me and they’re expecting a near record harvest of 30 million bushels, which makes up for the major losses last year of 90% due to a late freeze and then severe summer drought. I’ll continue with other news as I get to it. Peace out!
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