help please

I realise I'm not on here much anymore so I do feel a little bad for asking for help, but I just do not know what to do right now.  I am struggling so much.  I am finding it so hard, I havent felt this bad since I committed to recovery in November last year.  I feel awful, I'm hoping it will pass but I don't know.  I feel like I'm falling already and I dont know how to get back on track...
I think one of the reasons is that my wedding is only 12 weeks away, which yes is awesome, but naturally i am concerned about how I look.  Also I made that age old mistake of weighing myself, I really need to learn.  Its not that I hated the number or anything but for some reason no matter what the number I do react.
I feel myself consentrating a lot on food and exercise at the moment which i had managed to stop doing.  I still hate my body, so naturally I want to change it.
Ugh my head is a messy place at the moment and i hate it, i do not want to be this way.
Please anyone with advice, support or questions that might help me to figure this out, please help, i feel so alone with this right now and i do not want to go back, i hate where i've been, i feel so lost, and so stuck....

Replies

Soph827
Soph827

im in a similar situation to u right now although it is a lil longer till my wedding 6mnths! but i can relate! just remember baby steps day by day be gentle on urself xo
deleted_user
deleted_user

After the wedding, hopefully that stress will be lifted and you can get back on track. I was the same way with my wedding, but I was 4 months pregnant and could not engage in behaviors, which was probably good lol.
Just hang in there. Remind yourself that you feel so much better in recovery, and you dont want to go back to ED, it is such a lonely place full of pain and suffering that you dont want to go through!
deleted_user
deleted_user

here if you need to talk by the way
weinere46
weinere46

Trust the man who you are marrying. Ask him what he see\'s when he looks at you and believe him. Eric
deleted_user
deleted_user

I like what Eric said. He loves you and Ed didn\'t get an invitation to the wedding. I know how strong your faith is so pray, pray and pray. I just looked at the pics you posted on fb yesterday and you look gorgeous and don\'t translate gorgeous into any other word but beautiful. You have been doing amazing for such a long time. Don\'t risk your happiness. Maybe it helps thinking about being able to have babies - they are the best. Don\'t keep your urges and thoughts inside, talk to somebody you trust and stay strong.
kmw
kmw

do not give up, u have come soooo far!!!!!!!!!
i know u are stronger than this, perhaps try and think back to why u want recovery in the fiirst place, put all ur focus on that!
((hugs)))
text me whenever i still haave my uk n umber as well if it cheeaper for you xx