Heartache and Pain

This started out as a post and is now being turned into a journal. the question remains, does anyone else feel completely lonely? as if they feel like they lost the one person they know they were meant to be with. My break up was November of last year, the day before our anniversary. yet it still feels like it was yesterday. I've heard it all, I've tried it all and I can't seem to get over the pain and move on. It could be that she betrayed me when she looked me in my eyes and promised to never hurt me and leave me, that does play a part in this, though it's also the fact that I do genuinely love her. the most beautiful woman in the world, someone who was a friend of mine since the 8th grade, simply gave up and left me. Call me crazy though even through all the of this, I still love her, I still want us to be friends, I still want her in my life. It has been 3 weeks now since we last spoke and it hurts alot more. After the break up we still talked. We were able to maintain a friendship the way we did before we dated, despite her knowing that I love her and I was hurt from her breaking up with me. Here I am now, completely lonely, severely depressed, holding her gold heart necklace that I bought her when we were together and I'm trying to find the silver lining out of all of this, I can't though. Maybe I'm meant to be like this, we'll see in due time.