Heartache
I want to write. I just don't know what to write. So many feelings. So many wishes, so many what I did not do. Why why why why did I not
I feel like it is Dec 30,2009, the night Ken left.. Heartache seems more than my heart can take.
My Dearest Ken, my heart is so broken, my pain so deep, my Son how do I keep this pain. I want you. I want God to have let you stayed. Oh my Ken you were a wonderful son. You loved me so much as you shared with me so much. Oh Ken I wish you could have shared with me what you wanted to say that day we sat together what was it you wanted me to do. It haunts me that you had no way to tell me. I love and mis you more than words can say. Oh if time could just reverse and the Cancer had never happened. Only if you were still here. I love you I love you I love you. Forever mom
I feel like it is Dec 30,2009, the night Ken left.. Heartache seems more than my heart can take.
My Dearest Ken, my heart is so broken, my pain so deep, my Son how do I keep this pain. I want you. I want God to have let you stayed. Oh my Ken you were a wonderful son. You loved me so much as you shared with me so much. Oh Ken I wish you could have shared with me what you wanted to say that day we sat together what was it you wanted me to do. It haunts me that you had no way to tell me. I love and mis you more than words can say. Oh if time could just reverse and the Cancer had never happened. Only if you were still here. I love you I love you I love you. Forever mom
Replies
My sweet friend, I am so very very sorry. I\'m not good with words, but I just want you to know that I care and you are not alone. Tight Hugs.
Thinking about you and wish I could hug you! So sorry for your pain that I know too well...Take care, XOX, Debbie
I am so sorry - I wish I could be there to cry together.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
Oh dear Sandi, I know how hard and painful this is. Sending you a tight supporting hug.
Love,
Diane
Understanding and SO wishing that I did not. You are so wise to move into the feelings as you are because that is where your healing is. It takes courage to do so and can be so very tiring, I know...
Loving care to your forever mother\'s heart dear Sandi and always for your Ken.
XO Joanie
There are no words, sending you a hug. Love Kathy
All of the \"whys\", that will never be answered!! Why did it happen?? Why couldn\'t I have stopped it?? Why my son??? There are just no answers, just never ending pain!! I am so sorry Sandi. I wish I had some words of advice, but all I can offer is understanding and a shoulder to lean on !!
(((HUGS)))...Julia
I am so sorry! I could have written this same journal - I have been there, some days I\'m still there and when I least expect it I\'m there again...I was told as I was saying \"Why, Why, Why.....\" that when I see my daughter again, the Why\'s won\'t matter. Those questions we struggle with here on earth won\'t be in heaven @ all.....it\'s just we are not in heaven now, we are here asking all those questions.....I am so so sorry..Wish I had answers for you.....Vicki
I have no answers for you, dearest Sandi, but I feel your pain. Gentle hugs, my friend. xxx
I understand I lost my son Dec 20, 2008. Today is his birthday 1/31 so it is still sad he is missing his 35th birthday. Always a moment of missing.
Sending lots of hugs to help you through your day
Penny