health woes whining > (

I went over to my friend V----'s house today.  He had been bugging me for weeks to go see his new place.  He is naturally energetic and optimistic.  I suspect he has naturally high testosterone levels.  He's also completely extroverted and social and quite gabby.  I am not.  I couldn't help feeling there's something really wrong with me next to him.  My energy is so low, I feel depressed, withdrawn, and hopeless about the future.  Part of this is the medication I'm on, but I'm also on testosterone therapy which doesn't seem to be doing much.  My endo refuses to increase my dosage.  At any rate, it's hard to say how much is real depression and how much is a result of the hormones.  Lately my chest has also been hurting.  One of the side effects of the Dostinex at higher doses in Parkinson's patients has been valvular heart disease.  I'm only on .5 mg per week, which is supposed to be safe.  I'm seeing my GP tomorrow, so I'll bring it up.  I'm seeing him about the diabetic symptoms I've been experiencing lately--shakiness when I haven't eaten and extreme tiredness after I have.  And, of course, I passed out about three weeks ago.  God, I love getting older.  Sometimes I feel like just saying, "Okay, God, you can take me now.  I've had enough."  But this life is such a long, drawn out affair.  I keep waiting for things to get better, but... I just don't feel like I have energy or hope or any real reason to keep going.  Just a future of health issues and my perpetual singleness.   People who find love and companionship are so lucky.  But I guess I can see why my depressed state of mind would prevent others from wanting to get near me.      At any rate, my friend V---- wants me to move in with him.  I don't know why.  We're completely opposite.  I don't think we'd make good roommates.  Whatever.