Healing the past!
I'm going to Go Vap no matter how wrenching I may find it.
Ironically, very hard SITUATIONS are usually not "triggering" for me... During crisis moments I'm very capable, quick, efficient, resourceful... BUT... I can't "work" in a care environment where I "THINK/believe/feel" PEOPLE are being unkind or downright cruel to children... I go head-to-head with aggressors no matter what the consequences for myself are... lol, arghhh!
I've no idea why I laugh about that because I've gone toe-to-toe with some VERY scary people over the years.
At Go Vap the children have been neglected, abandoned, or have serious medical problems. The staff do their best but there are many more children than staff... the logistics of helping each and every child are just mind boggling. Not every child gets a hug every day, not every child has anything to play with... They are fed and their diapers are changed as often as the staff can MANAGE... If me being there makes that even just a little bit easier then that will be okay... it is not going to "fix" the situation.
Because my PTSD is related to PEOPLE more than to dire situations I will have to make sure that I have strategies in place to control my impulse to go head-to-head with people who I react to... I'm a VERY sensitive to harsh or insensitive treatment of children and I am over vigilant in looking for indications this is occurring...
Ironically, very hard SITUATIONS are usually not "triggering" for me... During crisis moments I'm very capable, quick, efficient, resourceful... BUT... I can't "work" in a care environment where I "THINK/believe/feel" PEOPLE are being unkind or downright cruel to children... I go head-to-head with aggressors no matter what the consequences for myself are... lol, arghhh!
I've no idea why I laugh about that because I've gone toe-to-toe with some VERY scary people over the years.
At Go Vap the children have been neglected, abandoned, or have serious medical problems. The staff do their best but there are many more children than staff... the logistics of helping each and every child are just mind boggling. Not every child gets a hug every day, not every child has anything to play with... They are fed and their diapers are changed as often as the staff can MANAGE... If me being there makes that even just a little bit easier then that will be okay... it is not going to "fix" the situation.
Because my PTSD is related to PEOPLE more than to dire situations I will have to make sure that I have strategies in place to control my impulse to go head-to-head with people who I react to... I'm a VERY sensitive to harsh or insensitive treatment of children and I am over vigilant in looking for indications this is occurring...
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